Saturday, December 15, 2007

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Limits...


As you can see by the picture of footprints on the front porch, my big-footed DogCat decided that, today, he's not all that keen about taking in nature during a pretty hefty snow-storm. In fact, what you see here is the result of two unsuccessful attempts, roughly ten minutes apart, to brave the elements and summit the front steps.

The log of his excursion went something like this:

4:07 PM -- Jumped from the couch and made noise at the front door.

4:09 PM -- In the absence of an immediate human response, I decided to knock something from the table to the floor and listen for the footsteps.

4:10 PM --Human arrives. I made more noise at the door, and watched as human opened the doors to release me into the vast wilderness.

4:11 PM --What the...?!? Where's the sidewalk? What's all this white crap? I hate it, but I am going to take a few steps out while the human holds the door open and, what's this? It's cold. Yes. Freeze, human.

4:12 PM --Returned to base camp and assessed any damage by licking paws. Finding nothing wrong, I decided to investigate World Number Two that lay beyond door at the back of base camp.

4:15 PM --Upon making noise, followed by human once again opening doors, I was surprised to find the environment at the back exit to base camp has the same problem as World Number One beyond the doors of the front exit to base camp. However, I stepped out to investigate further, but could find nothing beneath the vast field of cold, white stuff. Human is shivering.

4:16 PM --Returned to base camp and assessed any damage by licking paws. Finding nothing wrong, I decided to investigate World Number One at the front entrance to base camp. Still uncertain as to why I decided to investigate World Number Two first. That makes no sense, but I am a cat, and I've certainly got more important things to worry about.

4:17 PM --I made noises and summoned the human to front door. He proceeded to open them and expose me to the world. However, world was covered in very cold white stuff. I noticed paw-prints in the cold white stuff, and proceeded to investigate to see if anyone was out there. Human started making noises at the door as I looked for the source of the prints.

4:18 PM --The paw-prints lead inside base camp, and I decided to return to the camp to find who it was who broke into base camp. Human is stomping his feet and making loud noises.

4:20 PM --I ate all the food to protect it from the intruder and turned my investigation to the blanket on the couch.

4:21 PM --Found a really nice blanket on the couch in base camp, and I decided to take a nap before I ask the human to let me out. For some reason, I am quite sleepy.
-Dog Cat
December '07 Expedition
So, that's pretty much what I've been trying to deal with. Yes. It does get frustrating having an outdoor cat in a house which has two doors leading to the outside. And, though there are plenty of windows between the one door and the other, and I'd like to think he knows they both lead to the same damn place, sometimes, I'm just not too sure what goes on his little noggin'.


-DP


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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 12/15/2007 09:38:00 PM

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA.

    My dog tries this sometimes, but I think she's figured it out.  Mostly.

    ReplyDelete