[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Happy B'Day, Johnny Lee!

I didn't realize it until I saw it pop up on Fark, but today is Johnathan Lee Riches' birthday.

Who is he, you ask?

Johnathan Lee Riches is a batshit insane inmate at some federal correctional institution who has pretty much spent the last year suing just about everyone who's ever gotten his or her name in the paper. And he's filing these mad, paranoid, rambling lawsuits for some pretty insane reasons.

Then again, what do I know? I mean, I wasn't there when Britney Spears held a gun to his head and forced him to commit fraud to obtain money for an abortion. For all I know, it could have happened.

Now, as for my personal favorite, I always knew those bears were a little shady:

(PC)Riches v. Kaczynski

Plaintiff charges that defendant Theodore John Kaczynski is trying to unabomb his life because plaintiff won't return his manuscript that he received from the Washington Post. Plaintiff also alleges that defendant is rounding up all the Teds in the world to hurt him, including Ted Kennedy, Ted Bundy, Ted Turner, Bill and Ted, Ted Nugent, Teddy Bears, and Teddy Rumpskin.

I mean, that whole naming of Teds just sort of goes right of the freakin' rails...

Fortunately, this database has actually cataloged PDF copies of Mr. Riches' hand-written complaints. Just click on the number in the "document text" section, and you will be cast into a world of head-scratching wonder.

I'd almost feel sorry for the guy, but I think he's right where he needs to be in order to be safe, and normally, I would cringe at anyone who files hundreds upon hundreds of frivolous lawsuits, but Johnathan Lee Riches is a special case. His lawsuits are not only frivolous, they're freaking hilarious. And, I will say this, Mr. Riches' definitely has one hell of an amazing imagination.

Aside from that, here, my friends, is the greatest list of Defendants imaginable.

So, hopefully, if you find yourself having a bad day and in dire need of a smile. Turn to some of the court filings of Johnathan Lee Riches. It may be a little sad, but it's also incredibly fascinating, isn't it?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 12/27/2007 04:28:00 PM