Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Ooops... I'm supposed to be heading down to the Fest shortly, but it seems there is absolutely no electricity throughout the entire festival grounds. So, there are no live bands other than those who are street performers. And it's supposed to be powerless for another hour or so.
However, and this is the truly beautiful thing, when the power's out, the cash registers don't work. The beer still pours, and, since it's best to get rid of it before it gets warm, well... I can only imagine it's going to be pretty insane by the time I roll in. But, hey! I may even go early to help get rid of some of that potentially warm beer! I know... Community service such as this is a horrible job, but someone's got to do it.
- A very tall woman dressed like the Statue of Liberty. She roams around on stilts, and attends ALL of Milwaukee's festivals in this get-up for some unknown reason. She's actually a very nice lady, and she's always smiling and waving (or maybe she's just wildly flailing around trying to catch her balance while negotiating her way through the crowd of several hundred thousand people).
- The Dancing Couple. The same two senior citizens show up in formal attire and ballroom dance to any band they can find. I think it's absolutely cool to be so completely eccentric, and their Fox Trot during the Nine Inch Nailsconcert several years ago has become the stuff of legend. They're both married to other people, and they're just great old buddies who like to dance. And they are damn good at it. Perfect.
- The Gnome. He's a short, round, little old bald guy who always carries an empty duffle bag, and he wears a different pair of custom-colored Converse high-tops for each day (I love his snakeskin-print ones. But, his head-banging garden-gnome ones are also pretty slick). He's just super-cool, and he's not afraid to throw up the heavy metal horns. I even saw him head-banging during a Weird-Al show. But, you've got to resist the urge to rub his head. I hear he doesn't like that.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Paul did an "Out of Context" quote earlier in his journal. You should all go there because it will make you smarter than your neighbors. Plus, it's the two-year Anniversary of his "Aurora Walking Vacation," so give the guy some serious love!
Anyway, earlier today I sat down with the Dutch delight known as the Uitsmeider (I think that's how it's spelled). It's a sandwich of ham, Gouda cheese and a fried egg (I know... Dead man blogging). And, as I was eating I watched a bit of the Wimbledon tourney, and heard the following:
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Now, I have an unholy affinity for Swedish Fish. And, I'm not talking about my desire to gulp down herring or anything silly like that (though that can be good sometimes). I'm talking about the delightful little red candy fishes that seem to find their way into my mouth everytime they come within reach. Seriously, I've been known to toss down a school of these little guys for breakfast. It's madness really.
To make matters worse, another thing I enjoy is absolutely anything deep fried (I've got the Lipitor prescription to prove this too), and as a result of that, I found myself driving along today thinking about whether or not it would be a good idea to deep-fry my beloved Swedish Fish. I mean, what's better than a nice crispy shell hiding a sweet, ooey-gooey, molten mass of sugary lava?
However, I couldn't decide whether I wanted to have them beer-battered, like fried fish is usually prepared here in Milwaukee, or perhaps something lighter and more exotic along the lines of a tasty, crispy tempura. I mean, I need a change. I've been going the Sushi-route with these fish ever since I started eating them when I was three years old, and these days, with everybody deep-frying anything they can get their hands on, why shouldn't I investigate a few culinary alternatives?
Unfortunately, I don't have a deep fryer. My friends and family care far too much about me to ever purchase one as a gift for me, and I do have enough self-control not to run out and buy one myself. They frighten me. And not because of having a vat of boiling oil perched upon my countertop just waiting to spill all over the place. No. They frighten me because I have this overwhelming and suicidal desire to beer-batter and deep-fry a bacon-wrapped Whopper with Cheese with extra mayo and maybe a fried egg on top.
Anyway, I know I'm not alone out there with this wicked, food weirdness. In fact, here's a rather disturbed person in Michigan and his delightful recipe for chocolate-covered bacon (unfortunately, it isn't deep fried).
Monday, June 26, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
In lieu of Sunday's entry, I give you the noble, yet humble cheese.
Please feel free to talk amongst yourselves. And, should you have any questions concerning your friendly cheese, please visit this website.
Aside from that, I hope all your weekends were good ones. Did anyone do anything fun and exciting?
On this end, I went to my nephew's surprise birthday party/pig roast Saturday, and then we rambled back here to build a fire in the backyard and drink wine and laugh until the wee itty-bitty hours where the numbers are small. It was a yummy, fun time (sorry, Holly. You would have been so disappointed in me, but the face is the best part!).
Okay... See y'all Monday.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
See here? Now this is why I generally try to move as slowly as possible. In fact, on more than one occasion, I have been compared to a turtle. Even better. People sometimes tell me I move with "glacial slowness," and look at how long those things stick around. I am going to live for thousands of years!
Friday, June 23, 2006
Today, it kind of seems like my brain started the weekend a little early. In fact, I think it showed up and started Happy Hour sometime shortly after breakfast this morning. Fortunately, I didn't deal with too much today or the conversations I may have had would probably have been something like this:
Thursday, June 22, 2006
I love this.
I grabbed this picture from the website: Engrish.com.
It's a great place to go and see some absolutely hilarious examples of mangled English at the hands of the great people of Japan.
Personally, I think $3.99 is quite a steal for a CD case that so easily becomes portable, don't you?
I wish we could have something like this here in the States, but leave it to the inventive Japanese to come up with something so unbelievably simple with regards to "ease of use."
On the other hand, it IS written in perfect English, and there's probably a pretty good chance that someone somewhere needed this explained to them. It's probably the same person who needs the "this is not a toy" warning on plastic grocery bags or "spinning blades can cut off fingers, toes and limbs" sticker on lawn mowers. But really, if you have trouble figuring out how to make your CD case portable, and should you find yourself actually needing this sort of thing explained to you, could you please do us a favor and try the blowfish. Try LOTS of blowfish.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
We are so getting spanked around by some pretty nifty thunderstorms. In fact, on the Wrath of God Scale, I'll give this one about a 5. Toss in some locusts before lunchtime, and maybe it might jump up to a 6. Right now, though, aside from some pretty hefty 70 mph wind gusts and being pelted with some small hail as I stepped outside to swipe my neighbor's morning paper (mine blew away --FAR away), these storms seem to be much more show than go.
The good news is that I will probably get to play with Mr. Chainsaw and go all zombie-killing Ninja maniac on the downed limbs and branches in the yards of my poor family members. After all, I seem to be the only member of this gene-pool who owns a chainsaw (which is probably a good thing).
Anyway, the power's out and my laptop's battery is slowly dwindling. So, I should probably wrap this up before I blink out of existence.
*UPDATE* --Well, my power's back on, so that's a nice thing. However, after taking a drive through the park down to the beach here, I am going to downgrade this storm on the WoG scale and give it a meager 3, at most. But, we're supposed to get more this afternoon, so it might jump up. I'd like to see a 9 (like Sodom and Gomorra), but we'll probably just wind up with a 4 (raining toads or something harmless like that).
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I swiped this meme from a Mad Woman named Barb.
43 of the MOST random questions...
1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
2. Who will be your next kiss?
I'm saving myself for marriage. Besides, girl-germs and cooties are worse than the Ebola virus.
3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
4. When is the last time you went to the mall?
I think it was sometime during the Reagan Administration
5. Are you wearing socks right now?
I pretty much don't plan on wearing socks until October. I think they're Fascist.
6. When was the last time you went out of town?
7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee... Alterra coffee. Yummy stuff.
9. What are you wearing right now?
Jeans and t-shirt (no socks).
10. Have you been in a car wash?
Not lately, but yes. I have been in a car-wash.
11. Last fast food you ate?
A Big Mac with meat.
12. Where were you last week on Saturday?
My niece's house (fixing things)
13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
14. When was the last time you ran?
Gym class: 1983 (I really haven't been in that much of a hurry since then).
15. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Right now, I'm watching the World Cup match between Germany and Ecuador.
16. What is your favorite class?
17. Your dream vacation?
I'd like to spend a week in Katmandu enjoying the exquisite delicacies of Bobo's House of Boiled Yak.
18. Last 3 people's houses you were in?
That's a toughie. I didn't really get their names, but they had nice stuff. Oddly, most people don't let me into their houses.
19. How old are your parents?
Mid-to-upper 70's with a chance of being partly cloudy.
21. Do you miss anyone?
Sometimes. I don't miss the person, but I do miss the feelings.
22. Last play you saw?
Man of La Mancha
23. What are your plans for today?
Work, work, work... And then I plan to experiment with a microwave and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese this afternoon.
24. Who is the last person you commented on myspace?
I'm banned from MySpace after some comments I made about Britney Spears.
25. Ever go to camp?
No. But I have been camping.
26. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Sometimes.27. What do you want to know about the future?
I'd like to know how much hair I'm going to lose before all is said and done.
28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne
No. But, I did spray some Oust air-freshener in my face this morning by accident. Does that count? Everything smells like lemons.
30. Where is your best friend located?
Right now? Hmmm... He's probably drowning in the pool in his backyard.31. Do you have a tan?
Very much so.
32. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
I'd like to be somewhere between 78 and 83 years old when I have children. I think that's the perfect age where I can still be an effective parent without having to shoulder a whole lot of the burden or responsibility.
33. Do you collect anything?
34. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Ten years ago. I got pulled over for not having a front license plate. However, they didn't give me a ticket because I DID have the plate. It was just attached to the front bumper that was in the back seat.
35. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yes. Did you ever drink a two-story beer-bong?
36. How do you like your drinks?
37. Do you like hot sauce?
Sure. I'm just not one of those lunatics who douses their food in that freakishly, blisteringly hot nonsense. I like to taste what I'm eating.
38. Last time you took a shower?
After running (see #14).
39. Who do you have a crush on?
Her name's Lucy, and she's a nice FBI agent I met while trolling for Pakistani boys on MySpace.
40. What is your mood?
41. Are you someone's best friend?
I don't know. You'll have to ask them.
42.Are you rich?
My name is Elmer J. Fudd: Millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.
43. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
I think she's a Communist.
Two all-beef patties,lettuce, cheese,special sauce,pickles, onions,all on a sesame-seed bun (or something like that).
Monday, June 19, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Hey! Look what I saw in checking the AOL news this morning:
Now, not to beat my chest or anything, but this is why you must read my journal. I tell you the news you need WHEN you need it most! And, you obviously needed this story three days ago (if nothing else, you totally beat the rush in ordering your t-shirts and were able to receive them in time for Father's Day).
Then again, AOL managed to get a picture of Screech signing an autograph for Leif Garret, and that just kills me.
P.S. If AOL does a piece about James Woods and his "girlfriend," I am SO going to demand compensation (maybe a coffee cup or something).
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
If it wasn't for this man, you probably would have spent a lot more of your Saturday mornings NOT wrestling with the urge to throttle the life out of some poor, dim-witted teenager for no good reason.
Yes. It's Dustin Diamond --former child Über-geek "Screech" from the smash-hit television show, Saved by the Bell (the show that launched the film careers of... umm.. well... nobody).
How about this?
It's Dustin Diamond --the deliverer of the most holy and ultra-righteous, geek-beating smackdown of Ron Pallilo (aka: Arnold Horshack) in the history of televised former child-star exploitation.
Anyway, earlier this morning, I was watching the local news, and I damn near spit out my coffee when I learned that Screech had apparently escaped the relentless, hounding, Hollywood paparazzi to settle for a much simpler life in the sleepy, lakeshore village of Port Washington, WI. Yes, my friends, it seems Screech has become a Cheesehead.
How amazing? I'm like almost famous. Screech's house is just up the road from me. Unfortunately, thanks to the efforts of The Man, the bank has since foreclosed on Casa Screech, and now Mr. Diamond is scrambling to raise the neccessary $250,000 so as to not become a homeless, imported Cheesehead. However, rather than bitch-slap Ron Palillo into insanity, Dustin Diamond has resorted to selling t-shirts for $15 ($20 if you'd like one autographed) in an effort to Save Screech's House.
Now, all laughing aside for the moment, Dustin Diamond's story is a bit of a bummer, actually. And in this day and age of our country's current health care state, the Hollywood residuals of a mediocre Saturday morning television show wouldn't support most former child-actors' Vicodin and transvestite prosititute habits, much less cover the hospital bills resulting from any sort of medical crisis. Indeed, it's out there for a Screech.
The thing is, as lousy of an actor as I think he is, during the interview, he seemed like a genuinely normal and decent human being, and a nice guy who's in a pretty hefty world of panic. Most child actors seem to eventually wind up on some police blotter somewhere, but Dustin Diamond's kept his nose clean, and he's just doing his best to play the crappy hand dealt to him.
Now, as for me, I'll probably buy a shirt. I'd like to keep him in Wisconsin for the sheer selfish reason that, so long as he's living here, there's a chance --albeit slim-- that I will walk into a strip club and actually see Screech getting a lap dance. How cool would THAT be?
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
This is for John Sclazi's Monday Photo Shoot in which he would like to see our camera-related screw ups. So, here's mine: