I think in the grand list of things that most annoy me, there is one that stands out above all else.
I'm talking about, of course, my own damn, crippling stupidity, and here is what currently has me so frustrated that I'm grinding my teeth into tiny little porcelain nubbins:
A short time ago, I grabbed a nice mug of coffee, and I was looking forward to plopping down to enjoy it while doing a bit of light writing and some marginally hardcore TV watching. Unfortunately, something distracted me, and I set my coffee down and went about investigating whatever it was (I think I might have been looking for a bottle of balsamic vinegar, but don't hold me to it).
Anyway, after taking care of that little hiccup, I returned to my task of plopping into my comfy chair and doing my pointless things.
Do you see what happened there?
I forgot to grab my cup of coffee and now it is clear across the room, and I'm too damned lazy to get up and fetch it. It's not out of eyesight, though. From my relaxing perch, I can see the little whisps of steam rising lazily from it as it grows cold in my dank little man-cave. But, I've got my laptop on my lap, and my feet are swaddled in a soft and toasty electric blanket, and the last thing I want to do is get up.
Perhaps I should call 911?
I mean, this isn't exactly an emergency, but as far as I know, it may in fact be a matter of life and death. After all, my chemical dependency is a pretty strong force in my life, and when it comes to coffee (especially a good cup of coffee), having it just out of reach is enough to make me all sorts of strung-out and twitchy.
I need my fix, man...
Right now, as I am typing this, there's a small part of my brain that is in direct communication with my bladder. Apparently, it seems to be sending an unconscious signal with images of waterfalls, rainstorms, and garden hoses in the hopes of making me get up and grab my mug on my way to take a leak, and I suppose I should get up before my mind starts to terrify me with hallucinations of bears, or fire, or bears on fire so as to torment me out of my seat.
Still... LAZY!
I don't want to get up. I mean, for the first time since August, my feet are warm enough to the point that frostbite doesn't really seem to be that big of a concern. I've got everything I need to while away the afternoon in a state of complete and total sloth --expect one thing: That damn cup of coffee.
See? These are the things that make me crazy. I mean, would these things bother a sane person?
Of course not. Normal people would get up and get that mug.
Me? No. I'm wanting to sit here and see what I can do to use The Force and psychically will that mug from its place across the room to my waiting hand (it also doesn't help that I'm watching some silliness about Star Wars on TV that I'd love to not watch, but, alas, the remote control is conveniently located right next to my damn coffee cup).
Gyaaagh!
Oh well... Bring on the flaming bears!
-DP
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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 3/02/2008 02:02:00 PM
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I was with you until you wrote that the remote was next to your coffee mug. I think that combo would have to be retrieved. I don't drink coffee, so I substituted "beer" for "coffee." Although now that I think about it, if it were just the beer by itself, without the remote, I would have gotten up for it.
ReplyDeleteBeth
Soooo, I suppose by the time you got off your ass (probably to wee and not for the coffee) the once near boiling cup of bitterness is now room temperature at best?
ReplyDeleteJamie