Now, I'm a guy. And, since I am a guy, it's pretty much written into my genetic-makeup that there is simply no way in hell that I could ever understand women. Fortunately, a lot of women read this journal, and hopefully I can get a little insight into how your gender ticks.
I was watching TV this morning, and after an hour of commercials, I came to the conclusion that a great many women out there seem to have a really big problem with deodorant. Apparently, you ladies are getting it everywhere except in your armpits. You're getting it on your clothes, the things you carry, the furniture, pets, children, and who knows where else? And, it's puzzling because, you know, I'm a guy, and I just don't have these sorts of troubles.
One commercial I saw showed an attractive woman putting on deodorant before she put her top on. Then, after putting on said top and seeing the deodorant smears, she heaved a defeated, miserable sigh of utter frustration as a look crossed her face as if to say "I'm just not doing this right. I've got deodorant all over my clothes again. I'm a mess. Help me! Oh. Look at this mess. For the love of god, can somebody help me? I'll never get a man looking like this. Oh my god! I'm going to die miserable and alone in a house full of deodorant-covered cats."
Now, I should probably point out the glaring flaw in this woman's dressing habits. First, put the top on. THEN, apply the deodorant. After all, how many people above the age of two tie their shoes before slipping them on their feet?
Don't worry. I'm well aware that this poor, confused victim of gender-biased advertising is not representative of all --or any-- females. I'd like to think that humanity is smarter than that, and we've evolved to the point where we can apply deodorant without spreading it all over the flippin' place. So, honestly, does anyone really have this problem?