Saturday, July 29, 2006

Women & Armpits...


    Now, I'm a guy.  And, since I am a guy, it's pretty much written into my genetic-makeup that there is simply no way in hell that I could ever understand women.  Fortunately, a lot of women read this journal, and hopefully I can get a little insight into how your gender ticks. 

    I was watching TV this morning, and after an hour of commercials, I came to the conclusion that a great many women out there seem to have a really big problem with deodorant.  Apparently, you ladies are getting it everywhere except in your armpits.  You're getting it on your clothes, the things you carry, the furniture, pets, children, and who knows where else?  And, it's puzzling because, you know, I'm a guy, and I just don't have these sorts of troubles.        

    One commercial I saw showed an attractive woman putting on deodorant before she put her top on.  Then, after putting on said top and seeing the deodorant smears, she heaved a defeated, miserable sigh of utter frustration as a look crossed her face as if to say "I'm just not doing this right.  I've got deodorant all over my clothes again.  I'm a mess.  Help me!  Oh.  Look at this mess.  For the love of god, can somebody help me?  I'll never get a man looking like this.  Oh my god!  I'm going to die miserable and alone in a house full of deodorant-covered cats." 

    Now, I should probably point out the glaring flaw in this woman's dressing habits.  First, put the top on.  THEN, apply the deodorant.  After all, how many people above the age of two tie their shoes before slipping them on their feet? 

    Don't worry. I'm well aware that this poor, confused victim of gender-biased advertising is not representative of all --or any-- females.  I'd like to think that humanity is smarter than that, and we've evolved to the point where we can apply deodorant without spreading it all over the flippin' place.  So, honestly, does anyone really have this problem? 



  1. My mother-in-law once sprayed hairspray in her armpits by mistake.
    Advertising and womans products...damn, what woman feels carefree or serene wearing a friggin' pad everyday of the month. That's what they want, ya know. Now I do fancy the fact that woman no longer have to wear a pad that requires the aid of a belt to hold it in place, and I do confess, I once put a mini pad on the wrong way....sticky-side facing pubes..if these companies had their way we'd be on the rag all month with a Glade Plug-In up our asses.

  2.   I like the commercial where a woman puts on her deodorant, then dives out her window, and into a little black dress being held by women on the balcony below. After crashing into the bushes on the ground, she gets up, brushes herself off, retrieves her purse, that one of her accomplices has lobbed off the balcony to her, and struts away on her way to work.
      Have any of these women ever considered the possibility that they're just slathering too much of the crap on in the first place?

  3. I put mine on as soon as I shower, give it time to dry (but then, of course I buy the kind that isn't supposed to leave residue on your clothes, the cat, the dog or the furniture), and then put on my clothes.  I don't have that problem.  
    Some women just don't buy the right deodorant!

    I can't believe I commented about this entry! lol


  4. Once again . . . idiots . . .

    I for one understand the put the shirt on first concept . . . but that is because I am not an idiot. :-D

    NOW my favorite deodorant commercial for women would be the one where the women leaps from her 4 story apartment building to slip into that little black dress regardless if she could possible miss and plunge to her death. Ah yes, what we ladies will go through for a smudge free garment.

    Amanda :)

  5. I don't have a problem with women and deodorant. It's hairspray that gets to me. I mean, have you ever seen a woman spray her hair with the stuff? How much of it actually hits the hair? Most of it goes all over me/the mirror/the bed, or whatever else is in the immediate vicinity. And what's more, it chokes the hell out of ya!

  6. I just cannot care if there are deodorant flakes on the inside of my shirt. But the "feminine" deodorant line really pisses me off. Douches and sprays and powders...c'mon! The vagina does NOT stink. And it is self-cleansing. Someone is making a fortune off of selling SHAME to women.

  7. no problems with my deodorant. Some people are just dumb.

  8. abeautifulmess62July 30, 2006 at 7:06 AM

    Um...i cant get pass the picture. :::shivers:::: ugh!   Ü

  9. onecrabn3lilfishJuly 30, 2006 at 5:50 PM

    That picture makes me feel better about my own job.  


  10. ~~~~~~~~~~/////lololololololol~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    well...uh...that's mighti'niceofye', there, uh, mista' Dan!
    :):) and uh I think you're mighti'nice!
    lol natalie
    (running very fast away...)

  11. Actually that picture reminds me of a study that was done where women are asked to smell a piece of garment & they can identify their husband from other husbands! HA!

    I'm still laughing hysterically about...

    "if these companies had their way we'd be on the rag all month with a Glade Plug-In up our asses."

    They need a new emoticon for laughing so hard you cry.

    Now, hang on there is a bit of explanation needed here. The problem is not the idea of putting the shirt/dress on first, it is that we do & then put on the deodorant BUT THEN we have to change our clothes like a thousand times! Then we ruin the whole weeks worth of clothes. Like Michele Pfiefer in One Fine Day...she is trying on a million shirts & then we are still not happy! Ha! See you guys just don't care, you put a shirt on & that is it. Maybe even wear the same shirt more than once a week! Ha! We have to change a million times in one day! HA!

    The hairspray & nail polish fumes & ingredients in our nose is probably what is killing us after using it for so many years!

  12. RLOL,,,No I dont have this problem because I played with Barbies, lol. Its a careful art and you need to be conscious...I have more problems with making sure the toilet paper I used in the restaurant bathroom, doesnt drape behind me like a veil, when I walk out,,lol

  13. You crack me up... I almost missed this tirade of yours.  

    That is what I do.  Put on the shirt, dress... whatever, then put on the deodorant.  Yes, sometimes, the white stuff can still make a mark on your tank top so, I use the clear crap or the stuff that turns clear... whatever.  

    I can understand your perception based on the stupidity of commercials about this stupid problem.

    be well,

  14. I am so glad i found this.. I laughed so hard the kids came running to see if i was okay! Thanks for sharing...
    By the way Top,deoderant,Use clear stuff to eliminate the mess!
    I added you to my alerts 'cause the laughing is good for me. Friend Of The Broken Hearted/
    visit if you'd like