Friday, July 28, 2006

Just Don't Kill Me...

    Pretty huh? 

    That's a picture of my ex-girlfriend and her delightful daughter.  I think I posted this a while ago, but I'm currently too lazy to look.

    Anyway, beneath that façade of the wonderful, loving mother lurks a blood-thirsty, homicidal maniac.  

    Case in point:  Earlier today, I sent a harmless, friendly email to her to inquire about her day of office drudgery, and to perhaps see if she could, quite possibly, extrapolate on a business venture she touched upon in an earlier email.  I wasn't expecting the following response:  

    "Good thing I'm not sitting next to you, I'd have to smack you!"    

     Yes.  I'm beginning to think the reason she and I didn't work out is because my idea of a romantic evening does not include me curling up into a ball on the floor with my hands covering my head while she repeatedly kicks me in the kidneys. 

-DP

12 comments:

  1. What? You don't like being kicked in the kidneys?

    Good luck finding a girl who wont want to jam you in the side with a stilletto at some point in time.

    :-P

    Tootles,

    Amanda :)
    http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin

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  2. P.S. -> If she happens to stumble across your journal I am sure she is just going to fall in love with you all over again for calling her a "blood-thirsty, homicidal maniac" - - - ah yes Dan, the least of your worries is getting a kick in the kidney.

    Just looking out for you,

    Amanda :)

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  3. Hey! don't knock it till you've tried it! B.

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  4. My first question has to be why she turned into a homicidal maniac? Was this a gradual thing that came up as your relationship progressed, or was the tendency there all along?

    My second question is this:

    If you know she is a homicidal maniac, then why are you bothering to discuss a business venture of any sort with her? If she's not a good relationship partner, then why would you want to be involved with a business venture with her?

    It's not my business, I know. Still, I think it is sort of weird that you would e-mail a woman who makes you fear for your mortality. Perhaps you have a thing for being threatened?

    Anyway, I say steer clear of her. We sorta, kinda, like you and want you to continue to live in J-Land.

    Jess
    http://journals.aol.com/aurielalata/CIWTheOtherInvisible
    http://awomanvisible.blogspot.com

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  5. lol...i think you secrety enjoy being kicked in the kidneys....lol Julie

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  6. So, just why are you not seeing her any more?  ;)
    Beautiful photo, btw.
    -- Robin  

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  7. That really is scary. You're giving me flashbacks. I am sincerely sorry that you were abused. She is Evil. Devil Mommy.

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  8. well her daughter is lovely. LOL. I think I would stay away from her.

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  9. Honestly, she's a sweetheart.  She just doesn't censor her thoughts when it comes to me.  I like that.  But, in all honesty, she couldn't harm a fly.  

    -Dan

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  10. She sounds perfectly normal and rational to me.  I'm sure she knew that you were due a smack for something or other.
    Lori

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  11. abeautifulmess62July 29, 2006 at 4:36 AM

    The question here is, what EXACTLY did you say to her. I think she was provoked. They look very sweet~!
    Terry Ü

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  12. What the heck is wrong with a good smack between ex's?  I do it all the time!  It helps to keep the non relationship healthy! ;0

    Jackie

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