Monday, July 17, 2006

Stuck in Beirut...

"Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demiglace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living." From Kitchen Confidential

Anthony Bourdain

    I like Anthony Bourdain.  He's crazy, open to new adventures, and on more than one occasion, our seemingly reckless partying ways have been compared.  He drinks.  I drink.  He eats.  I eat.  He travels.  I travel.  He gets paid for it, and I get...  umm..  did I mention I drink?
    The thing is, simply because I can't find a more suitable location, I've been writing about Beirut a bunch lately to describe the hell that this Midwestern heatwave has turned my world into.  Trust me, I can easily understand how suffocating heat and opressive humidity can make tempers a little short.  Fortunately, I'm not in Beirut; however, Anthony Bourdain is.  And, he's trapped.  And, knowing him, he's probably not all that sober.  In fact, here's a quote from him on a message board devoted to his show No Reservations on The Travel Channel (Mondays, at 10:00 PM, EST):
"We are all of us (Diane, Jerry, Toddles, Tracey and me) in good health, good spirits and working ferociously on our tans and sipping blender drinks while watching the fireworks from a secure location. Our masters at Travel Channel have made sure we are being well looked after."
    Now, I think it's important to keep your wits about you in a situation such as finding yourself in the middle of a battlefield, and I have to applaud Mr. Bourdain for his positive outlook.  In fact I love it.  A person could easily loose their head like a chicken destined for a pot of coc au vin when they wake up in a war zone, but when the first concussive blast of heavy shelling rattled his hotel windows, I'm certain the travel-savy Tony Bourdain probably removed the matresses from his bed and wrapped them around the mini-bar to protect it's precious contents.  After all, sustenance is the second rule of survival. 
    So, enjoy the fireworks Tony.  I'm glad you're in good hands, and I hope the CIA yanks you out of there post-haste.  And, if the mini-bar rations start to dwindle and panic ensues, you can always start selling your crew to the Hezbollah for some fermented camel's milk, a few goat-kebobs and a heck of a lot of opium. 
    Nonetheless, Anthony Bourdain and his entire crew will certainly be in my thoughts during this whole irrational fiasco, and I do hope they find their way home safely.  And, I hope everyone reading this feels the same. 
P.S.  Tomorrow, I will answer your questions, so you've still got time to add more if you've got any.  So far, reading them has seriously made me smile, so it should be fun.   And, sorry about the lack of updates today.  It's been bonkers-busy on this end.  I hope you all are well, wild and wonderful.


  1. I've got a question for ya.  Have you ever thought about writing a book...or a column....?  You should. You are a very talented writer.

  2. Mmmmm........I LOVE Anthony Bordaine.  I just cannot watch his show and eat at the same time.  

  3. Don't know how wonderful I am.. but I'm certainly well and wild!  ;P


  4. well I have never watched his show before. But, I hope he makes it back safe. LOL

  5. Hi again !!!!!!! I also enjoy watching Anthony Bourdain in all of his travels. He is quite funny and interesting to me. You and I like the same shows and the same kind of things. Despite a black eye from a fight I am well thanks.

    Here is another question from me: What television shows will you NOT watch ? Which one would you prefer go off the air permanently ? Where would you like Anthony Bourdain to go next ?

    Well that's all.....Byyyyyyyyye !!!!!!!!

  6. I bet we'll see him being beheaded on Arab-TV in like 4 months.

  7. Holy cpw I have got a lot of ramblings from your mind to catch up on . . .

    You poor thing, you were up in WI all week suffocating from the heat, sweating like a kid at fat camp . . . all while I was enjoying a cool ocean breeze. *sigh*

    I have no clue who Anthony Bourdain is, but thanks to you I now know he is just another drunk who likes to eat. Thanks. :-D

    Amanda :)