What the hell is this all about? You know how cool it is to have a hurricane pop up with your name? It's kind of neat, ya know?
On the other hand, with that in mind, do you know how depressing it is to sit and watch your namesake just sort of do its own thing and head out to sea to go bother some insignificant fish? There's nothing out there. Nada! Gilligan isn't even in that latitude for pete's sake.
Hey look up there! There's Cabo! Sammy Hagar's in Cabo, Daniel! Let's go party?
Nope. This whole storm seems to be a metaphor for my entire life. It's just going off into nowhere at the blistering speed of 8 mph. It looks freakin' bored. It's just heading due west into the Pacific in the hopes of finding a tiki bar to dismantle.
You're a pathetic excuse for a hurricane, Daniel. You're even going the wrong damn way, you slow-moving piece of weather-trash. Oooo... One-Hundred mile-per-hour winds, huh? Yeah, those fish out there are probably crapping themselves silly to see you coming. Are there even fish out there that far? Just stay out there you weak bastard, and don't come back until you're capable of breaking something. What an embarrassment...