Saaaaah-weeeeet! Sometimes it really pays to check the old spam folder, people. Had I just let this go unopened and tumble into the abyss where unread emails go, I would never have known about this poor woman and this incredible opportunity to make a fat wad of sweaty dough! I am going to be stinkin' rich! Yeeeehaaa!
Greetings,
I got your contact in my searching of a good reputation foreign partner to
assist me in my late husband properties (Good reputation?!? Umm.. Yeah. That's me). My late husband was former district leaders of the diamond city call KENNEMA and an executive member of the Diamond Mining Association in the Republic of Sierra-Leone (Sweet! Conflict diamonds are as good as money in my world! By the way, your English sucks, so this has GOT to be legit).
He was massacred by the president TEJAN KABBAH force in their struggle to
reinstate him back to power (a one person massacre?), before his death he disclosed to me that he deposited two trunk boxes contain sum of US$18.2 Million in a Security
Company in Accra, Ghana (I love Ghana), in a neighboring country in West Africa, after all, I had gave the Security Company a call and was confirmed that the boxes are intact (It's nice to know the boxes are intact, sorry to hear your husband isn't, but what about the dough?).
I decide to solicit (please don't tarnish what we have) for your kind assistance to help me and my two children invest these funds on our behalf the sum of US$18.2 Million (and to deposit 20kg of Gold Alleviate in your Bank for us.) in your Business Venture for a long term and pay us monthly on an agreeable terms to be worked out later (I plan to invest it in DPF stocks. Also known as Dan's Party Fund. As for paying you monthly, umm.. yeah. I'll do that. Whatever's left after some serious binge-drinking and buying Britney's house and tossing her out on the street, consider it yours). .
Our lives and future of my two children depends on these funds (Okay. Now you're just sounding needy) and as such, I will be grateful if you can assist us (Well, if you wish to repay my kindness, you're certainly welcome to clean my house, do my dishes, and your two urchin.. err.. children can mow the lawn). I am seeking your assistance to invest this fund out of Africa for investment purpose (Trust me, it's already been invested).
I want you to come on board help clear this money from the deposit company, open an account on your name, and transfer the funds to your designated account in your country (Not a problem. Are you writing the check right now?).
Why I also want you is that my husband specifically put it in his will and advice me that I must consult a foreign partner to assist me to move the funds out of Africa (Your husband was a smart man. Sorry he was blown up), I think was to save as a check on my part so that I would not loose the money (Don't worry. You'll know where your money is, so it won't really be lost), as this is the only money left for the success of my two children in this generation (trust me, I care deeply for all children. How are they at sewing? I'm thinking about starting my own shoe line, and I'm willing to let them be a part of it for fifteen cents a week).
What I demanded from you is to assure me the safety of this money when it finally gets to you (of course. I'll definitely send you a thank you note. Maybe even a fruit basket? Do you like fruit?).. Further information and arrangement will commence as soon as trust, confidence and good relationship is established (You need to stop watching Dr. Phil and start drinking more). I shall be most grateful if you could maintain this high level of confidentiality I repose on you concerning this matter (Honestly! I won't tell a soul), .
My health is not in good shape now (Great. You're a total lemon, aren't you?), because am hypertension patient and I need your help as quick as you can please (Well, then you definitely came to the right person. I can cure your hypertension with copious amounts of chicken-fried bacon).
Please reply me through my email address.
Thanks for your personal consideration.
Yours Sincerely,
Mary Manto
I got your contact in my searching of a good reputation foreign partner to
assist me in my late husband properties (Good reputation?!? Umm.. Yeah. That's me). My late husband was former district leaders of the diamond city call KENNEMA and an executive member of the Diamond Mining Association in the Republic of Sierra-Leone (Sweet! Conflict diamonds are as good as money in my world! By the way, your English sucks, so this has GOT to be legit).
He was massacred by the president TEJAN KABBAH force in their struggle to
reinstate him back to power (a one person massacre?), before his death he disclosed to me that he deposited two trunk boxes contain sum of US$18.2 Million in a Security
Company in Accra, Ghana (I love Ghana), in a neighboring country in West Africa, after all, I had gave the Security Company a call and was confirmed that the boxes are intact (It's nice to know the boxes are intact, sorry to hear your husband isn't, but what about the dough?).
I decide to solicit (please don't tarnish what we have) for your kind assistance to help me and my two children invest these funds on our behalf the sum of US$18.2 Million (and to deposit 20kg of Gold Alleviate in your Bank for us.) in your Business Venture for a long term and pay us monthly on an agreeable terms to be worked out later (I plan to invest it in DPF stocks. Also known as Dan's Party Fund. As for paying you monthly, umm.. yeah. I'll do that. Whatever's left after some serious binge-drinking and buying Britney's house and tossing her out on the street, consider it yours). .
Our lives and future of my two children depends on these funds (Okay. Now you're just sounding needy) and as such, I will be grateful if you can assist us (Well, if you wish to repay my kindness, you're certainly welcome to clean my house, do my dishes, and your two urchin.. err.. children can mow the lawn). I am seeking your assistance to invest this fund out of Africa for investment purpose (Trust me, it's already been invested).
I want you to come on board help clear this money from the deposit company, open an account on your name, and transfer the funds to your designated account in your country (Not a problem. Are you writing the check right now?).
Why I also want you is that my husband specifically put it in his will and advice me that I must consult a foreign partner to assist me to move the funds out of Africa (Your husband was a smart man. Sorry he was blown up), I think was to save as a check on my part so that I would not loose the money (Don't worry. You'll know where your money is, so it won't really be lost), as this is the only money left for the success of my two children in this generation (trust me, I care deeply for all children. How are they at sewing? I'm thinking about starting my own shoe line, and I'm willing to let them be a part of it for fifteen cents a week).
What I demanded from you is to assure me the safety of this money when it finally gets to you (of course. I'll definitely send you a thank you note. Maybe even a fruit basket? Do you like fruit?).. Further information and arrangement will commence as soon as trust, confidence and good relationship is established (You need to stop watching Dr. Phil and start drinking more). I shall be most grateful if you could maintain this high level of confidentiality I repose on you concerning this matter (Honestly! I won't tell a soul), .
My health is not in good shape now (Great. You're a total lemon, aren't you?), because am hypertension patient and I need your help as quick as you can please (Well, then you definitely came to the right person. I can cure your hypertension with copious amounts of chicken-fried bacon).
Please reply me through my email address.
Thanks for your personal consideration.
Yours Sincerely,
Mary Manto
I am going to be so totally loaded.
-DP
(In my best Napoleon Dynamite voice): Luuuuchkeeeee. I'm SO jealous. Hey did you hear about that woman (mother of 3) who shot & killed her "preacher" husband was actually involved in one of the scams?? YES Dan...it's a scam. LOLOL
ReplyDeleteBarb http://journals.aol.com/queenb8261/DiaryofaMadwoman/
WELL now, Im a bit peeved that Ms. Manto contacted both you and I. I may have to take that up with the African minister of belgium.. or whatever the hell she said.
ReplyDeleteSo anyways... you need to add more pictures. :)
I can see you aren't taking this seriously so that's it - you're off the list. You won't get this opportunity again. Hah! Now you're sorry ain'tcha? B.
ReplyDeleteBefore leaving my comment I went directly to my spam box and low and behold, I to have been chosen by Mary Manto!! Damn, Daniel we must be special! Did your e-mail take this path too?
ReplyDeleteReturn-Path: <marymanto201@yahoo.com>
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Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2006 20:20:04 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: HELP
From: "mary manto" <marymanto201@yahoo.com>
Reply-To: marymanto111@yahoo.com
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Tee:
ReplyDeleteYeppers. My mail took the same path. Of course, I didn't click on any of the links, and I advise people not to do that sort of thing --not only because you don't know what kind of sniffers or keyloggers are out there, but this fat wad of money is MINE! ALL MINE!!!!
Barry:
Oi... Your name's not Bob.
And, Jodie:
AOL-email is giving me fits, and I am unable to send any mail to anyone. SO, here's what I was trying to send to you (And if anyone who is NOT Jodie is reading this, remember that reading other people's mail is a felony, and I'll sue ya. I'm not shy about that sort of thing. Anyway, here it is:
"Hi Jodie,
More pictures?!? But I... ummm... I have pictures. Pretty pictures. Some of them I even took myself rather than swipe off the internet.
Actually, you are right. And, I always feel guilty for putting together a string of pictureless entries. It's just a little tough finding the right ones though.
Anyway, thanks for the comments and suggestions!
Take care,
Dan"
. . . you are going to share right?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteAmanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin
I'm from CT and one of our state colleges honored Sierra Leone's Pres Kabbah for being one of the rare presidents to be Elected to that seat and for his efforts to stop the civil wars there. So either Mother Mary is a big liar liar or I've been duped by the "educational" system AGAIN! (Actually I may have more faith in Mary and her conflict diamonds at this point.)
ReplyDeleteYou're going to invite us all over to Britney's, right?
I'll take the money, lol.
ReplyDeleteHi Dan,
ReplyDeleteI am in dire need of paying off my college loans and I am sin - cerely wondering you would be interested in buying the London Bridge at a reduced price? If so, please contact me at my new web address.
I am willing to sacrifice my first born child as collateral.
Dianna
http://hellfire.com/