Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A New Sausage!

And they're off... 
    Well...  Here in Milwaukee, there's going to be a new running sausage in town. 
 
    If any of you watch ESPN, you may be familiar with the Running Sausage mascots of the Milwaukee Brewers.  A while back, one baseball player, Randall Simon, even took to clubbing the Italian sausage in an attempt to fix the traditional seventh-inning sausage race.  Oh!  The humanity!
Since that little skirmish, those little links have achieved a certain cult status.  ESPN even did a spoof on the running with the bulls with these guys.  Hillarious!
 
    Anyway, tomorrow they're going to announce a NEW running sausage.  And, up until now, they've always been the fabulous four of Euro-trash sausages:  #1 is the Bratwurst; #2 is the Polish sausage; #3 is the Italian; #4 is the hot dog (Frank to his friends). 
 
    Tomorrow, during a scheduled press conference, Sausage #5 will be announced, and the word on the street is that it's going to be the sausage favored by trendy, latin-American foodies everywhere --The Chorizo.  I know..  It's actualy Portuguese, but I think we're giving it Mexican credentials because, you know, it's politically correct, and I can't think of the last time the Portuguese actually fielded a Major League Baseball player. 
 
    Now, I've got nothing against Chorizo.  I think it's quite a tasty sausage, and I always add some to my chili.  The problem I have is that this fifth wheel, so to speak, is seriously going to screw up our drinking plans when we go to a baseball game.  Normally, four of us go to the game, and aftersome profanity-laced arguing during our usual tailgating, we each put down twenty bucks, pick a sausage and the winner buys a round of beer for the losers.  Adding a fifth to this equation means we are going to need to add another friend or else there's a chance the money will go unclaimed, and we will wind up staring at each other wondering just who in the hell is going to buy us beer after the Sausage Race. 
 
    The neat thing is that I was thinking about having the Sausages as my groomsmen in my wedding should that tragic day ever come.  I mean, how cool would it be to do the "Chicken Dance" with a bunch of sausages?  That's like one food mocking another.  And those church photos would ROCK!  And just the notion of driving around in a limo with a big, smiling hot dog head sticking out fills my heart with more glee than I can handle. 
 
    Anyway, the Chorizo should be cool in spite of the complications to our drinking and gambling.  And well...  The only thing better than four sausages in my wedding party is five.  I hope he's got a tux.
 
-DP

7 comments:

  1. 'Tis a strange world you inhabit my friend. ;O) B.

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  2. I had a wedding watermelon, but it didn't dance or anything cool. No sausages but K's family are amusing enough: voracious, ill-mannered wolverines. Hmmm, next time I get married, you can be my Wedding Planner.

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  3. Very cool... get another friend to meet you at the bar after the game...

    Gotta love a city who loves their sausages!!

    be well,
    Dawn

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  4. Okay, if I've told you once I've told you a million times. NO WEINERS at our wedding!!!
    Chorizo, huh? Why not the Cheddarwurst  Blood Sausage, or a corn dog?
    It's amazing what excites you people.
    jenn

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  5. I live in the LAND of Chorizo my friend.  I wish you could hear me gagging and trying to get the nasty taste out of my head. But then this IS  just a felt and rubber one. Then again you put CHOCOLATE in your chili? I have to get your recipe.  Really.  I don't think you'd much be liking mine. I don't have a recipe.  It's more or less a wing it chili.  And if you get to have sausages at your wedding as groomsmen, who will be the bridesmade? Condiments? Mustard, ketchup, mayo, nacho cheese, and Ms Relish?  I love it. I wanted to have a theme wedding.  You're a trip Dan.  I love reading your journal. Why aren't you writing a column or a book.  At least a pamphlet.  :-D
    I believe that God put on  Earth to accomplish a certain number of things.  Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.  
    Hugs, Barb  

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  6. Gotta love a man who is proud of his wiener . . . or wieners . . . that I'd like to see, a man with wieners, not just one. Hmm? All though wieners boy may be ready to get on it, I'd have to check it out, he'd have to patient and wait. As a man, don't you think that would be neat-o to see a man with not just one wiener.

    Ah yes, Dan, only you would spark this kind of randomness in my mind. Thank you. Now I must go to work with NOT only the image of 5 plastic sausages entering a church but with the curiosity of what a man with weiners would look like. Thank you.

    Have a peachy day!

    Amanda :)
    http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin

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  7. abeautifulmess62July 29, 2006 at 4:41 AM

    I'd lay my money on the Bratwurst. Cant go wrong with a dog dressed as a yodeler!  Now you've got me craving a Brat smothered in grilled onions and mustard! Thats just great!
    Terry Ü

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