Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Yeah... It's another meme...

     Here's a meme I swiped from Miss Jackie's journal Waiting to Exhale.  So, rather than chase bits of aluminum foil around the backyard (Ooo.. shiny objects), I figured I'd do this.  Enjoy!
1-What do you want people to say about you when you die?:  I think I would like them to say that I've made more people laugh than I've made cry, that I've made more people feel safe than I've scared, and that I've made more people happy than I've made sad. 
2-How long does it take you to get ready to go out?:    A couple of minutes, usually --more if I have to wear socks.   
3-If you were an animal what would you be?:  That's easy.  I'd be a sloth. 
4-What's your biggest fear?:  Buicks.  I don't really know what happens to people when they get behind the wheels of these cars, but it's pretty damn hazardous.   
5-What’s your most prized possesion?:   My coffee maker.  I'd be dead without it.       
6-What’s the funniest word you can think of:?  Snog.  
7-Do you get along with your parents?:  Definitely.  They're as crazy as I am, so, you know, "like minds" and all that. 
8-What do you look for in the opposite sex?:  Poor handgun skills.  Bad aim is very attractive in a woman.  
9-What was the most difficult thing you had to do?:  It's either: having to stop caring about my ex-girlfriend and her daughter, or the time I had to get shots of Novocain in the arthritic joints of my toes.  Both were pretty painful.
10-If you were given one day to live what would you do?:  Well, I'd probably spend the day getting rowdy with friends and family.  Then, in my final hour, I would go to the White House and kick George Bush and Dick Cheney in the balls several times. 
11-If you could relive any day of your life either for good or to change it what would it be?:  One summer day years ago, I was walking along the Dommel river in Eindhoven, Holland and saw this gorgeous woman, about my age, sitting on a bench reading a book.  She looked up, smiled at me, and my heart exploded.  I could pretty much relive that day over and over again.   
12-What's the worst feeling in the world?:   E-Coli food poisoning.  
The best?:    A hot head on a cold pillow.
13-If you could meet anyone who ever existed who would it be? why?:   See #11. 
14-What was the meanest thing you ever did as a little kid?:  I told all the other kids that every time they piss me off, God kills a kitten. 
15-What have you learned about love?:  It's a lot like a crate of dynamite.  You have to know how to handle it, or there's a pretty good chance you'll be blown to bits. 
16-How have you changed in the past year?:  I've become more consistent and unchanging over the past year. 


  1. Just when I was trying to think of what to post today, you have saved the day!! Yipeee! You are a super hero Dan!

    . . . now what color are your tights? do you have a cape? what's your super power? invisable? made of steel? strength? can you fly? . . .


  2. Dan, regarding #2...I think you could save a few seconds off your time by wearing sockettes. tee hee

  3. I'm so glad you called me MISS and not MA'AM!  I would have had to snog you for that! ;p

    I realized something about you, and why you fascinate me so much.  You're a Gemini, just like me!  

    And.. how did you know I was chasing foil around the yard??  You've been tinkering again, haven't you?

    Good answers Dan!  Sorry about the girlfriend thing.  That's some tough stuff to get over..


  4. Say it like Pinky:


    (I like #1 and I have a feeling they will say those things about you, pal.)

  5. lol on number 10. To bad you will never see that girl again. But that's a nice memory.

  6. abeautifulmess62June 29, 2006 at 4:11 AM

    I love stopping by your journal!  Your entries make me giggle!  Now thats a funny word.  Have a great day!  Terry Ü

  7. you manage to make me smile.. that's why i come back here!

  8. If I'm not mistaken, the word Pinky so lovingly expostulates is "gnarf!"

  9. 1) "Let's make sure she's dead before we bury her."

    2) Pre-kids, an hour. With kids, several days, depending on the availability of babysitters and the night we choose to go out.

    3) A Shmoo or a Smurf. If you insist on an actual animal, I'm told that I look like a mother duck when Gabby and Melissa are following me. I used to hear the same thing when I was teaching, but the kids were all bigger than me.

    4) I'll nevereverever fly again. If I can't drive to it, it can't be that good.

    5) Sloppy Dog.

    6) "Dubbadoo," which is what Melissa still calls Sloppy.

    7) They're dead. We haven't argued in almost 20 years. My father and I were 2 peas from the same pod, I'm told.

    8) I always made a point of dating only men who were complete gentlemen. From there, I married the guy with the largest unit.

    9) Being the de faco Mom for my kid brother and sister.

    10) "Yo, yo, if I had 24 hours to kick the bucket, f*ck it
    I'd probably eat some fried chicken, and drink a Nantucket
    Then go get a job at Branson
    And make sure I leave my mother the money to take care of grandson
    Load the 3 Power, hop in the Eddie Bauer
    And go give all 6 to that cat dat sold me flour
    Get a fresh baldy, make a few calls
    Shop at the mall, shoot a little ball
    Have all of my b*tches in one telly
    At the same time, spread it out on different floors
    And I'm gonna play Lotto, for what?
    Even though I ain't gonna be here tomorrow, so what, so what?"

    11) The day I got $35,000 from the local mob. I'd have never given it back.

    12) Delivering a child

    - When the doctor tells you that he child is happy and healthy.

    14) I was losing a fight, and I bit the girl who had me pinned to the grass.

    15) Be able to cook better than all the other women you know.

    16) I have this nice scar on the back of my neck, now.