Among the presents I received for my birthday, I'm going to have to say, these are the coolest. Nothing beats forty glorious ounces of delicious, thirst-quenching malt liquor and four bucks worth of winning scratch-off lottery tickets. I know. Please try to contain your jealousy.
The forty comes courtesy of my brother Bob (#1) and his fiance, and his b'day is coming up on the tenth. Don't worry, I've already started plotting how I can repay the wonderful gift that is malt liquor. Originally, I was thinking of giving him a David Hasselhof CD; however, in light of this, I'm not certain what to do now. Mr. Hasselhof and his sweet music simply fail to measure up to the plethora of life-fulfilling wonders one receives from imbibing the sweet nectar of malt liquor. A Walton's DVD might be the way to go. But, I am just not sure.
As for the lottery tickets, those are from Pamela --The World's Coolest Niece. Her birthday was back in March, so I have plenty of time to think up a great gift for her.
Other than that, I received a hot wax thing for me to put my arthritic paws in. Apparently, that's supposed to work well, so I'm dying to try it out. However, the idea of walking around with a pair of parafin "gloves" on my hands might actually increase the Dan-Weirdness-Factor (DWF) to earth-shattering levels. And, if this DWF gets any higher, I am afraid I may just have to run off and join the circus.
Anyway, I am off to bask in the post-birthday delights of cashing in my lottery tickets for a pack of smokes and finding a nice place in which to consume my malt-liquor and reflect upon life.
-DP
*UPDATE* All malt-liquor misspellings have been repaired. Thanks Tee... I have no idea why I keep screwing that word up.
Woes is you. Please do not forget to share the details of what you give to your brother.
ReplyDeleteNow, if I was to buy you something for your big day. Mmmmm I would buy you hairless cat. To keep you company and allergy free!
Brenda
Damn, what do your parents celebrate in the fall by having sex that got your momma birthin' so many babies in June? Glad to see that by the end of your post you finally spelled liquor right! How much have you had already today or are you still feeing the effects of last night? HIC! I do hope you have a link to DH's video of "Hooked On A Feeling". As someone put it in Scalzi's comment section after viewing it "I didn't know I could laugh and puke at the same time."
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a good day! I LOVE the hot wax thingy, it feels SO good on the hands! Enjoy it :)
ReplyDeleteNicole
Left over cake, a forty and a smoke . . . you are living the high life up there! I am kinda jealous.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you had an enjoyable birthday! And see, your world didn't come crashing to an end. :-D
Take Care!
Amanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin
Wow. Malt Liquor, Lottery tickets, and a hairless cat. I'm not sure there's anything left for me to get you. Just pretend I sent you a card, OK?
ReplyDelete-Paul
Wow! Lottery tickets! You're rich! As for the DVD present for the brother, I'd go with Little House on the Prairie, myself... ;)
ReplyDeleteT'care,
Amanda
http://journals.aol.com/ksdauter/CultofInvisibleWomen
Oooh, put your feet in it--the Hot Wax, not the Malt Liquor.
ReplyDeleteI know just the gift for your brother... A Yanni Cd... or John Tesh at Red Rocks... oh yes... he will be forever grateful, much as you are for that 40!! lol
ReplyDeletebe well,
Dawn
ps... the paraffin bath is great for arthritis, I have rheumatoid arthritis and use one occasionally!
i'm still trying to contain my jealousy regarding your birthday loot. good luck on the lottery tickets!
ReplyDeletesimplymeally.blogspot.com
woo hoo!
ReplyDeletehappy birthday Danny boy!
natalie
where are you?
ReplyDeleteHappy Belated Birthday!
ReplyDeleteLahoma