[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Well...? WELL?!?

Okay... So I pin-cushioned my leg about an hour ago to shoot myself up with a tidy little dose of Humira --which is supposed to work better than Enbrel-- and I've noticed nothing yet.

I mean, how long is this nonsense supposed to take?

After all, at $1,700 (yeah... it was a little more than I expected), this stuff should not only start working the second it hits the system, it should also go out and get me beer, hookers and a big, fat steak. And it should make me look like David Hasselhoff Brad Pitt in his better days. And, it could do my freakin' taxes. I mean, $1,700 bucks to just sit in my leg and do nothing is kind of a let down, really.

One of the things I noticed about the instructions was that it stated the importance of drawing back the plunger on the syringe to see if you've hit a blood vessel or not. And, they said, if you do manage to hit a blood vessel, you're supposed to pitch the whole shebang and start over with a new pre-measured syringe. I've pretty much got only two words for that sort of screwed up thinking, and they involve the word "fuck" followed promptly by the word "that."

The odds of me throwing out any of this $850 dose would be like buying a really nice TV and pitching it off the roof of my house before even bothering to plug it in.

So, considering that, I really didn't care if I was injecting this silliness straight into my femoral artery or my eyeball. Besides, it's my blood. It came out of me, so I'd just be putting it back in, right? What are they afraid of? A bruise?

Gee... I've never gotten one of those before in my life.

Anyway, all that worry was for nothing since I didn't poke a blood vessel, and the sticking went pretty smoothly.

Still... At that amount of dough, it should work now. And, I should be eating a big, fat steak.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/04/2008 12:43:00 PM