[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Look at Me! I'm Psychic!

Alright... Now, this being Psychic for Jebus stuff is brutally wonky, but I've got to tip my hat to Pat Robertson.

[Monsignor Robertson of Crazytown] also cited information from God when he predicted on a year go that major U.S. cities would be hit by "very serious terrorist attacks" causing "possibly millions" of deaths.

No such catastrophe occurred. "All I can think is that somehow the people of God prayed and God in his mercy spared us," Robertson said on "The 700 Club," a television show he hosts on the Christian Broadcasting Network, based in Virginia Beach.

"So did I miss it? Possibly," he said of his unrealized prediction. "Or, on the other hand, did God avert it? Possibly. But whatever, it didn't happen, so I think we can all rejoice." (full story)

Really, people... I mean, Sylvia Browne, to my knowledge, doesn't have that sort of built in excuse for her failure when her bullshit doesn't quite pan out. Sylvia just scampers off and hides when she's blown reality all to hell.

Now, Pat? He's got an ace in the hole, and that Holey Ace is none other than God himself. Even better, he's got his nutty ass flock of weirdos to also back him up. First, he terrifies them by claiming to hear of all these impending disasters from God, and when they don't pan out, he can say the begging and whimpering of his tedious flock swayed God's opinion.

So, give yourselves a pat on the back you hard-prayin' peeps. Unfortunately, if they actually did come true, oh yeah. I'm blaming you for not doing your jobs.

The thing is, if you folks were actually any good at this prayer nonsense, God wouldn't be threatening to destroy us in the first freakin' place. I mean, let's face it, humanity's future is in your tightly clasped hands and your googly eyeballs that roll into the backs of your heads.

Nonetheless, I think Pat's right about one thing: We can all rejoice. In fact, this weekend, I hope you all get out and rejoice the ever-living-crap out of Pat Robertson's inanity.

I don't think I made any major predictions in 2007 aside from simply saying that George Bush will only continue to grow more and more stupid, and I'm going to say, I was right (although I was a little scared when he said he read Cammus' The Stranger, but those fears were quickly settled when he also said he "read three Shakespeares"). In fact, I'm going to "predict" that 2008 will be a freakin' banner year for Bush-based WTF? moments. The guy's a total Gomer frat-boy, and I really don't think he's done anything but make things worse for the world while he and his robot wife work on keg-stands in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Now, does that make me a psychic?

Of course not.

I mean, it's not like I'm saying that I predict the Bush Administration will be embroiled in, and subsequently cover up, several major scandals in 2008.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/02/2008 11:19:00 PM