[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] How You Doin?

Now, since some of you have asked how things are going on this end, I figured I'd take a bit of time to try and chisel out yet another update to answer those questions. It's nice that you guys ask, and it means a lot.

Still... Not much has changed. I'm still hanging out in limbo with little or nothing being done. I did send off a pile of forms for my doctor to sign and send on to the Humira people to see if I qualify for some sort of trial. Obviously, I have little hope that these forms will find their way to her wretched claws, and they will most likely be passed around that office from one incompetent potato-head to another until the big, burning orange thing in the center of our solar system collapses in upon itself and everything dwindles out of existence.

Yes. It sucks. But, on the plus side, when some alien explorer stumbles upon this cold, dead rock many billions of years from now, maybe they'll unearth my tattered and yellowed collection of unsigned forms and marvel at the fact that humanity made it as far as it did.

So, there's that.

Aside from that, however, there's still a hell of a lot of pain with which I'm dealing. And, I still don't think it's sunk in that I actually paid $1,700 for two very small, seemingly insignificant doses of this chemical voodoo that may or may not work.

I suppose that's kind of crazy now that I think about it. After all, I don't even like to gamble. I mean, even bingo played beneath the buzzing florescent beams in a church basement is still a little too risky for me. I like the "sure thing," and taking this sort of chance I suppose is nothing but a sign of genuine desperation.

I guess pain and suffering can make people do crazy and insensible things. After all, look at Rambo. Or, better yet, Bruce Willis. If I were shot, stabbed, and kicked in the face more times than I had teeth to knock loose, I think I'd just give up, call it quits, and let the bad guys win. Take the money, boys! I'm off to see the dentist.

Anyway, I suppose if you ask me how I am doing, I guess the answer would be something along the lines of saying that I'm just simply coasting into some sort of unknown. But, it's a painful ride, and right now, I am half-tempted to make a run to the emergency room to see if I can request an old-school remedy to take the aches and pains out of the joints I need to use.

Years ago, Dr. Daniel McCarty, the Rheumatologist I used to have was perhaps the most brilliant physician I'd ever met. He literally wrote the book on this disease I fight every day, and one day probably a decade ago, when I was in a heap of pain, he injected Novocain directly into the bursa of several of the knuckles of my fingers and toes (I think it's the MCP joint and whatever its equivalent is on the foot that I'm too lazy to look up at the moment), and oh my freakin' god! It was the most painful experience I'd ever put myself through, but in the end, it was absolute, instant magic. And, after a day or two, once the feeling came back in my fingers and toes, they were, in a word, normal. And, they stayed that way for about four or five years if I remember correctly.

So, if you're duking it out with some nasty arthritis, this is an effective, but temporary, solution; however, in this day of pills and wonky chemistry, I don't know if there are many doctors out there who are even capable of such an out-dated form of pain management. The technique itself involves a good sized needle and the tedious, time-consuming swapping of the lubricating fluid within the joint's bursa with the Novocain. It sure as hell isn't a long-term solution, and it should pretty much only be done on those digits you use the most and want to continue using, but it worked and kept me sane for a while.

Anyway, that's what I want right freaking now. I mean, narcotics work quite nicely and they are really yummy, but they make me blurry, and I need to be able to get things done without blowing myself up.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure if I go to my local ER and request such a procedure, I worry that such a request would cause some twitchy, little resident to wet his pants, shave his head, and move into an ashram for a few years while he ponders his education and his life. And, well, that would make me feel guilty.

So, I suppose I'm doing okay. Things aren't too bad, but they sure could be a hell of a lot better. And, I'm hoping they get that way soon enough. But, it's frustrating, and stressful, and dealing with people who have been hired into positions for which they are wholly unqualified is so damn trying, it does actually take a lot out of a person. Let's face it, currently, the teenage girl who works the local drive-thru has better listening and comprehension skills than the doctors with which I am currently dealing.

Well, I think that pretty much sums it up. Right now, I'm off to investigate this thing called lunch.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/10/2008 10:46:00 AM