Don't shoot me...
I meant to start off the day with a post explaining to the good folks in Ohio that they should unplug their bathroom toaster ovens, drain the bathtubs, and put the razor blades down and go grab a drink.
Really. I know you love your Buckeyes, and since I am a fellow Big Ten alum, I really was hoping that THE Ohio State University could bring a little respect to a conference that has been ridiculed and unfairly judged as unworthy all freakin' year by anyone with a voice and a loose comprehension of the game of college football.
Oh yeah... I'm looking at you, Kirk Herbstreit!
No. I don't know why, but I'm sure it's somehow all your fault. Maybe you graduated too early? I mean, you really should have taken some time off after high school (like twenty years) to see Europe or hike across Australia or find the meaning of life.
But, you didn't, did you?
Nope. You played, you graduated, you grew up (which is something most OSU graduates rarely do, man), you started a wonderful family, and you got a job talking football on ESPN. Yay for you!
You selfish, over-achieving bastard!
I mean, Brett Favre is the same age as you, and he's playing in the NFL. So, the thought of you playing with the kids, knocking them around, and actually winning the Big Game isn't all that hard to imagine.
So yes. Solely for the simple lack of anyone else to blame, I'm going to blame Kirk Herbsteit for bringing this shame upon the Big Ten by getting an education as opposed to playing football.
Now, I know students at THE Ohio State students can turn into an unruly, torch-wielding mob in a matter of seconds, so please don't march on Mr. Herbsteit's house. After all, it could just be that Jim Tressel didn't really have a good game plan going into last night's game. Or, it could be that LSU was
Nonetheless, look on the bright side all you kids in Columbus, OH. If nothing else, now you've got a reason to drink until September. Just, be careful. I don't want your entire student body to turn into a collection of depressed, booze-swilling cutters.
See? Nothing but love from a Badger.
-DP
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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/08/2008 12:18:00 PM
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