Tuesday, January 29, 2008

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Uphill! You Hear Me? Barefoot and Uphill!

I think I need to have children...

No rest for the winter-weary
Near-blizzard conditions, harsh wind chills predicted for today

Posted: Jan. 28, 2008

Generations of grandchildren are likely to loathe the winter of 2007-'08 almost as much as those who endured it.

The seemingly nonstop bouts of snow and bitter cold, not to mention the tornadoes, already provide ample fodder for "you think this is bad" stories, and more material is approaching fast. (Full "Why-in-my-day" story).

Now, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in Wisconsin who's whining about the damned weather. Unfortunately, I don't have any grandchildren --or children for that matter-- who can be made to suffer with endless tales about the never-ending cruel joke that this winter has become.

Of course, I can't wait to unload my misery upon any child foolish enough to complain in front of me. In fact, some friends of mine are expecting their first child this summer, and I'm pretty sure that the very second that sweet, little infant starts to shriek and cry, I will probably stand at the side of its crib and say, "You think you've got it bad, kid? Hell. In my day, last January, the weather sucked so bad, I was reduced to eating microwaved macaroni and cheese. Consider yourself lucky to have those hooters in the next room."

The thing is, I can remember worse winters in Wisconsin. For example, when I was but a wee speck of a person in elementary school, I remember fighting my way through snow-drifts that were well over my head. And, though I was only maybe three feet tall at the time, they were pretty damn daunting.

There was also the two-hundred yard death march in college in forty-below temperatures with something like a sixty-below wind-chill to my Religious Ethics class --the only class that wasn't cancelled. That was the worst walk of my life, and when I looked back to my dorm, I realized that I had foolishly gone ten yards past the halfway point, and for my own damn survival I needed to get to the world's most annoying prerequisite class. In the end, the only people who showed up were me and the prof, and the bastard didn't even give me extra credit for putting my life in danger to listen to his relentless babbling (yes. He actually did still lecture for three hours and ask the class --not me specifically-- questions. I think he froze his brain).

Still, this winter has been a pretty troubling one, and from where I'm sitting, it really doesn't seem to be ending any time soon.


Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/29/2008 01:46:00 PM

1 comment:

  1. My Girls are just Thrilled today, they got their first snow, no school, day of the year. Personally, I don't think the 4 inches of snow outside really warranted it....cause when I was their age.....we went to school in 2 feet of snow, white out blizzards....walking 2 miles to the bus stop (all true, I swear)
    Anyway, wishing you warmth today,