[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Climate Change?

I don't know if I like this new climate here in Wisconsin. These winters confuse me.

For example, in the Wisconsin winters of my youth, we barely survived our walks to school in sub-zero weather and near white-out conditions. In fact, in those days, they wouldn't close the school for anything less than a foot of snow or temperatures of minus twenty degrees. And, when January rolled around in Wisconsin, you could easily expect one of those two things happening.

Now?

Well... It's 63 degrees, and we've got tornado warnings popping up in the area.

Tornadoes?!? In January!?!

What the hell has happened to my world? Last week is was zero degrees! I mean, even the cat's confused. He lept out the front door onto the porch wearing his winter coat, and when he splashed down in a small puddle, the look on his face was something like Dude? I just took a nap. How long was I out? Is this June?

So, I'm just loafing around now enjoying a little t-storm while the sky grows dark at three in the freakin' afternoon.

I could get used to this, I suppose. I mean, we had our white Christmas, and it was nice and festive with all that snow on the ground. But, Christmas is over, and as far as I'm concerned, there is absolutely no need for any more snow. And, really, it doesn't need to be cold either.

If this keeps up, my little community here hugging the Lake Michigan shoreline will look like friggin' Miami's South Beach with topless supermodels sunbathing at the end of my street, and David Carusso running through the sand in a black suit and dress shoes with a gun in his hand spewing all sorts of smarmy, tough-guy one-liners.

True. Wisconsin's cows will be confused, but apparently, with this warm weather, they will be happy cows like those in California. And, happy cheese comes from happy cows. They will no longer be the frozen, suicidally depressed bovines they are now.

Unfortunately, in about a week, I figure we'll once again lose 100% of this 63 degree temperature, and I'll wake up to ferret in the snow for the morning paper and chisel off the frozen porch. But, I can still dream...

-DP



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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/07/2008 03:30:00 PM