According to the lady in the Focus Factor commercial who is freakin' astounded that people give away things for free, I'm going to use that poor rube of a woman's logic to rate this blog:
I'm giving these words away for free? They must be good!How do people wind up thinking like that?
I mean, maybe if you grew up in a neighborhood packed with street-corner pharmacologists handing out all sorts of free samples, and perhaps if you think heroin is good (which it probably would be if you could just get rid of that whole "it will ruin your life and make you Sid Vicious kind of crazy," side-effect) then, hell yeah, a bottle of Focus Factor is going to be a gleaming beacon of awesome to your confused mind.
For all I know, though, a bottle of Focus Factor could make me poop screaming pink turtles. Which, I suppose in terms of attention grabbing, that could get my attention and keep it for at least most of the day.
Anyway, rest assured my friends, that even though I don't charge you to read this blog, sometimes my words are really going to suck. In fact, they may even be like Focus Factor, and they may have no effect on you whatsoever. But they're free. And, I'm letting you read them, good and bad, for absolutely nothing.
The thing is, if anyone out there is like that poor little shill, and subsequently secured that the quality of free stuff is above average, I've got a fridge filled with all sorts of food that's got to be absolutely wonderful!
"Your potato salad away just stabbed and sodomized a jar of pickles, and you're giving it away free?!? It must be good!"
Really... I'm not an ad-genius, but, in this day and age, if you're going to say that your product is good, you'd kind of want to do it the opposite. Say it's a hundred bucks. Bang!
Then, apologize for the price, but claim that it's worth it.
Then again, could it be that by giving this stuff away for free, the head of Focus Factor may just very well keep from getting himself sued? After all, if people find that it doesn't work in any way, they really haven't been swindled out of any money now, have they?
However, and here's the rub, if people buy it and actually believe it works, they'll pay $85 for more, and the beauty of it is, as a result of a placebo, they won't be claiming that it doesn't work.
Man... I've gotta hand to 'em. That's slick. But I digress...
This blog. It's free. And, it sucks!
Enjoy!
-DP
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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 1/06/2008 03:42:00 PM
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