Monday, June 30, 2008

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Spring Cleaning.

Today's house cleaning project made possible by the good folks at Abbot Laboratories --makers of Vicodin and Humira. Without their kind support, and the support of viewers like you, none of this would have been possible.


I used to have a mammoth, mind-shreddingly, back-shatteringly heavy stationary tub in my laundry room. It was more a piece of poured concrete art sculpture than it was any sort of home appliance or plumbing fixture. It honestly weighed close to half a ton, and several years ago, when its iron drain started to leak as a result of corrosion nibbling upon its edges, it simply had to go.

There was grunting involved as it was nudged out of the way and in its place was a shiny-new, comically light and flimsy basin of off-white poly-vinyl-chloride, and there the massive old hunk of stone sat like a pharaoh's sarcophagus with its weight slowly sinking the house (if I lived in a pyramid, maybe it'd work).

Anyway, I don't know if any of you dear readers out there have one of these things in your basements. They come with old houses, and when they aren't leaking, they're freakin' awesome. You could hide inside one should a nuclear holocaust rain down upon your world.

Of course, should it come time to look for survivors, well, let's just hope there are enough people alive to lift the thing off you.

In retrospect, I should have just left it. Granted, it was fun whacking the crap out of it with a twelve-pound sledge, but after making 16 trips up the stairs and to the alley with a five-gallon bucket filled with with rubble, I am starting to wonder who received more of a beating.


Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 6/30/2008 09:54:00 PM


  1. I'm betting you will know for sure in the morning when you try to get out of bed !

  2. hahaha...  Actually, I don't think I need to wait that long.  I'm an aching puppy now.  


  3. Good job, Dan. I remember the heavy wire that was used for the base of the concrete. It has to be forty years ago when I removed one of those form my mothers basement.
    Thanks a lot for bringing back that memory, Bill