Sorry, Paul.

    Well, so much for my helping Paul get that house in the country he's been wanting. 

Officials find bazookas, snakes and narcotics in mail coming to Canada

TORONTO (CP) - Bazookas, containers squirming with snakes and toys stuffed with cocaine - they've all managed to find their way into Canada in a way most people might never expect.

Neatly packaged and creatively disguised, they're just some of the thousands of surprising discoveries made by Canada Border Services officials simply by examining packages and parcels destined for mailboxes across the country.

"For some reason, people think they can mail anything," said Peter, who works at the international mail processing centre in Mississauga, Ont., which handles 70 per cent of the mail that comes into Canada.
(Full story)

    I'm sorry, Paul.  I thought that bazooka would come in handy for clearing the pesky houses of your neighbors' which get in the way of your much-desired Canadian country view.  I guess now you'll just have to start that meth-lab in your basement, lower the property values, and buy those lots as your neighbors scramble away from the inevitable drive-by shootings and surge in prostitution that comes with life in a drug-riddled neighborhood. 

-DP