Emily's Interview...

    Emily, the hard-hitting, investigative journalist that she is, has decided to start interviewing sundry bloggers to get to the bottom of what makes people tick.  And, apparently, I am a curious enough of a person to warrant a series of five simple, yet oddly intriguing, questions.  Hopefully, I can stop torturing my cats long enough to answer these questions.  Let's see...

1. What's with the muscles on your stick figure?
   
    I'm a single guy, and chicks dig muscles, Emily.  What you see there is the result of my occasional and grueling workout of a push-up. 

2. How do you know your geology professor never blinked? Could he have been blinking exactly when you were?

    That is something which keeps me awake at nights to this very day.  I can't even remember the professor's name anymore, but I certainly do remember him never blinking.  He also spoke through a wireless lavalier microphone clipped to his lapel even though the class consisted of fewer than fifteen students in a small lecture hall.  So, he pretty much was the garden-variety, non-blinking gadget freak.

    Anyway, during his lectures on rocks and whatnots, I would try very hard not to blink for great stretches of time to the point where my eyes would dry out in the hopes of catching him in a blink.  And, after several classes spent doing this, and realizing that it didn't work, I decided to mix it up a bit and see if I could catch him by blinking at random intervals.  Sometimes I would incorporate a sort of Morse code into my blinking with a series of short and long blinks. 

    Unfortunately, since I don't understand Morse code, I have no idea what sort of messages I was sending with my fluttering eyelids.  For all I know, my eyes could have been saying: My!  What nice knees you have Professor. 

    I suppose that would explain why I got an A in that class since I don't recall learning a damn thing about Geology.  Either that, or he just felt sorry for the twitchy eyed retard in the front row who could only communicate through a weird series of blinks and fidgets. 

3. What's your favorite cheese?

    Normally, I'd say free-cheese is my favorite, but I think if I had a choice, I'd have to say that any sort of good Gouda is my fave.  It's simple, but wildly versatile, and if you toss it on a cheeseburger with a little curry-ketchup, it has a way of making people scratch their heads with wonder.  It just seems to play well with other foods. 

    Still, there's a whole heap of cheeses out there that I need to investigate, and they're all good in my book. 

4. Do you swim?

    I haven't swum lately.  But, I used to be quite good at swimming when I was a wee, little lad.  I've even got a bunch of kitchy medals, ribbons and trophies from my previous aquatic lifestyle.  Now, however, I pretty much only use my swimming skills to help me sleep on those rainy nights when I know that in the morning, my basement will be filled with water.   

5. What were the last three things you got in the mail?

    Let's see...  It's Monday and today's mail hasn't come yet.  So, on Saturday, aside from the usual library of catalogs, in the mail, I received a copy of Entertainment Weekly with Harry Potter on the cover (pretty lame issue). 

    I also got a manuscript form a technophobic writer who refuses to make life easier by using email.  Freakin' luddite!  He probably still bangs rocks together to make fire.

    Finally, the coolest thing I received is a Boss DD-5 digital delay to replace the old, beat-to-death pedal I used to use when banging around on my guitars.  Now, if I get a little ambitious, I can futz around with loops and whatnots like KT Tunstall does here:

   
    It's not anything I'm all that eager to start dorking around with, but hey!  If I want to, I can.  No.  It wasn't a waste of money!  Stop looking at me like that.   I need these things. 

    Sheesh...  You will never understand.

    Anyway, I hope that answers all of the questions sufficiently for you.  Now, you know more about me.  Unfortunately, as I do strive to keep this shadowy life of mine away from public speculation, it's clear you all must be "eliminated."   don't take it personally though. 

-DP