Thursday, July 19, 2007

It's Thursday!

    Yes.  Thursday's here.  Of course, it makes me wonder; does anything really ever happen on a Thursday?  To me, Thursday's always been a day for the kind of great collective heave that people tend to take before they set out to scream at the top of their lungs for a good, long time. 

    I tend to put my feet up and ferret out the minutiae of the coming weekend by checking my internal list of important things to do:
  •     Mow the lawn.
  •     Find a bar.
  •     Think about taking up a hobby other than drinking.
  •     Do laundry.
      It's all very simple, really.  Unfortunately, somewhere in that collection, little things start to show up to complicate my weekend:
  •     Answer the phone.
  •     Talk to person on phone.
  •     Try not to say yes to anything.
  •     Somehow agree to "help" caller with miscellaneous yard work until Sunday.
    As you can imagine, my previous four ridiculously simple plans for the weekend go unfulfilled, and I am cast into a sort of bizarre existential torture of not having done anything I set out to do this weekend. 

    I know what you're thinking.  "Don't answer the phone."
    Normally, that's an easy thing, and I don't blame you for suggesting it.  I can actually go from Monday to Friday not answering the phone without suffering any repercussions whatsoever.  However, if I don't answer the phone on a Saturday, for example, I will have to explain to the thundering horde of EMTs, police officers, local news' crews, rescue divers (leaky basement, ya know), the volunteer search party and yelping bloodhounds that I didn't, in fact, wake up dead on Saturday morning, and whoever is trying to get a hold of me is seriously overreacting. 

     I've not been able to find a solution to this dilemma aside from saying, I'm going to be out of town this weekend.

    Of course, by using that excuse, and seeing as how I have pets, if I am actually staying home instead of going away, I have to hide under a bed or something while whoever it is who's volunteered to feed my pets while I'm out rifles through my fridge, drinks all my beer and reads my mail. 



  1. If someone asks for help tell them if they want to return the favor and help you get through what you need to do first, sure you will help them. Bet you they don't call anymore on weekends afraid you just might put them to work for your own advantage. (Hugs) Indigo

  2. LOL... too funny!!!  Hide, Dan, Hide!!!

    be well,

  3. When they phone, I am sure they would come to the bar with ys would'nt they?
    Gaz ;-)

  4. You already have the answer - find a bar. Just don't tell anyone. Sorted. B.

  5. I used to do laundry at a place that was attached to a bar. Genius! --Cin

  6. Just Say "No" DP! LOL

  7. I have an idea! Come over and bring your beer and laundry. We can do the laundry while we drink and discuss both of us finding a new hobby besides drinking. You won't be home to answer the phone, someone can take care of the pets, rifle through the fridge and read your mail -- we'll already have the beer, does anything else really matter? Our yards won't get mowed, but nobody can ever be expected to finish everything on the to do list! And don't worry, I'll have deep fried bacon wrapped cheese for a snack. Even better, my hubby doesn't drink -- he can make beer runs!