Monday, May 14, 2007
The Weakest Link...
Another Mothers' Day is in the books, and I hope everyone's was fun and rewarding with family, friends and those crazy people in your lives who make things exciting. Mine was good. Any time I get to goof around with my mom, my dad and my brothers is always interesting and a source for lots of insane, goofy smiles.
My twin brother arrived with his wife, child and a tremendously wonked out back. And, with the herd mentality of my family, any sign of weakness is something to be immediately exploited as the weakest link is ridiculed to the point of either leaving the herd, or he's left behind to be eaten by wolves.
"Hey," I said. "How'd you screw up your back?"
"Oh, you know." He said. "I was doing manly, guy things. Real testicle-straining stuff."
"You were planting flowers!" His wife shouted from the other room, "three tiny flowers! I had to plant the rest."
Obviously, the ridicule-meter was pegged in the red --almost as red as my brother's face at his wife's revelation that gardening damn near crippled him.
During my laughter, he dropped a piece of cheese on the floor, and we both just sort of stared at it with a curious amusement.
"Think you can do me a favor, Dan?" My poor, broken brother asked with a nod toward the floor.
"Not a problem," I replied before grabbing him by the back of his neck and bending him over. "Can you reach it now?"
Sometimes, I think it's the blood-chilling screams I miss the most from my childhood.