Sunday, May 27, 2007


    There's a lot to be said for a nice, lazy Sunday morning, isn't there?  Hopefully, your Memorial Day weekend is a peachy one with all sorts of fun, good weather, and exciting stuff.  I know some of you are trapped indoors due to dreadful weather, and, hopefully, reading my collection of insanity will keep you occupied for at least a little while.

    But, enough of that.  Let's get on with the damn questions, okay?   

How many times a day do you check for comments on your blog?
Comment from easuess - 5/19/07 7:37 PM

Ya know?  This question couldn't be timed more perfectly.  In fact, last week, before AOL's latest installation of the updated Journals software, this would have been a pretty easy question to answer.  However, as is always the case, when the update goes live, the alerts go dead, and rather than just read the emails that arrive whenever someone leaves a comment, I stopped here to check things out to find that there were about ten or fifteen new comments spread across a bunch of posts for me to read. 

    Anyway, I don't really get a lot of comments, for some reason.  My guess is that as a result of me knowing everything and being right all the time, people just don't feel the need to comment.  At least, that's what I tell myself to help me sleep at night. 

Hi !!!!!! Here is a question....
What is your favorite thing about J-Land ?
Comment from southernmush - 5/20/07 2:06 PM

    My favorite thing would have to be the smokin' hot babes who are nice enough to put up with my stupidity for any length of time.  Seriously, ladies?  What is wrong with you?  Didn't your parents warn you about guys like me? 

    Seriously though...  I think my favorite thing would have to be the people.  And, even though the journals themselves are somewhat clunky and dysfunctional (see above), the folks who use them are really very nice.  And, I still contend that I have the best readers and commenters in the world.  Trust me.  Sometimes, I'm pretty certain that you are all crazier than me, and as a result, the world isn't all that spooky.  In fact, I can look at just about any place on the map (with the exception of South America --those bastards), and I can take comfort in the fact that no matter where I go, I'm never really too far from someone who reads this lunacy.  It's a little weird. 

Here's a classic: Which invention could you most do without and which not?
Or maybe there's something you think ought to be invented? B.
Comment from oddb0dkins - 5/20/07 5:09 PM

    Gads...  What could I do without?  Hmm... 

    I think I could live quite happily without an iPod.  I don't have one, and I really don't need one.  I enjoy listening to the world, rather than roaming around in a little bubble of sensory deprivation filled with nothing but crappy-sounding digitized music.

    As for what I couldn't live without, it's a toss-up between my coffee maker  or my Bic lighter.  (hey!  It's Sunday morning.  I can't think of anything more important at the moment).
    Well, I've mentioned it before, but I think someone needs to develop a herd of self-tenderizing cattle.  It would be quite the convenience if these animals could soften themselves up by throwing themselves down flights of stairs, running into one another, or just doing things to make themselves a little easier to chew.  I've had some pretty tough steaks out there, and I think this could solve that.  I don't know if it would require any deep genetic alterations, or if this process could just be accomplished by berating the cows until they feel so worthless that they develop a masochistic streak.  I suppose that's for the scientists to figure out. 

    Oh yeah.  We could also do with some self-marinating chickens. 

If DogCat and Garfield got into a fight - who would win? And if the winner had to fight my cat, Phoebe, who would win that one?  
Comment from h0llyk911 - 5/20/07 10:44 PM

    DogCat's a lover not a fighter.   Which is good considering that his paws are the size of the bottom of a Coke bottle, and he's strong enough to tear a hole in my aluminum window screen.  Seriously, if that animal turns rabid, I'm going to get a lot of phone-calls and lawsuits. 

    As for Phoebe, well...  I think he'd buddy up to her.  There's a really old, half-dead bitch of a cat two doors down who he joins on their porch.  She pretty much just hisses at him, but he keeps her company as they sit there watching the world go by. 

What is your book about?  Have you started hunting for publishers?  Do you have an agent?  What do you most enjoy about writing for the newspaper?  What to you dislike most about it?
Okay... there... start writing...
be well,
Comment from princesssaurora - 5/21/07 12:30 PM

    The book's about 120,000 words (baa-dum-pum).   Actually, I'm still at the very protective stages of writing it, so I can't give too much away.  Trust me.  I want to.  I'm horrible that way since I tend to always spoil the endings of things.  But, I can say that it's a somewhat humorous hunk of speculative fiction with Nazis and the world of online-dating.  I think it's fun.  And, hopefully, it won't get me sued.

    I've not started any sort of serious search for publishers.  I want to get this book finished, and start on the next novel (which will be a series of books actually) before I start looking.  I don't know why, but I think it's just nice to have one in the bag and one in the works when looking for things like agents and publishers.  After all, my goal is not to just sell the book, but sell myself as an author.   I'm not sure if that's a good way of doing it, but it seems like a good idea to me.

    I don't write for the paper all that often.  Mostly, though, if something catches my eye, I'll come up with an idea for a freelance piece, and I'll write a proposal and flesh out an idea and see if it actually gets legs.  I think that process is always fascinating because there is a big sense of haste involved.  I don't know if I could ever really be a full-time reporter though.  It just doesn't seem to fit with me.  Now, a columnist?  Well...  That's always seemed like a ridiculously easy gig to me.  However, as I say that, I also find myself having a bit of a problem writing these days.  It's as though my vocabulary is shrinking at an alarming rate.  But, I figure I can muscle through it and come out the better.  

Miller or Bud?
Comment from trickeytricky - 5/21/07 2:07 PM

    C'mon!  This is Milwaukee.   I've literally seen grown men ridiculed to the point of tears for ordering anything other than Miller.   In fact, there are a few bars around here that won't even stock Bud. 

Why am I not getting Alerts for your entries? I seem to get everyone else's. --Cin
Comment from tenyearnap - 5/21/07 3:34 PM
All your 'lerts are belong to US! 
    I really don't know why, but a few people have complained that they aren't getting my alerts when they get them for other people's journals.  I figure AOL stuck me on a really crappy, dust-choked server somewhere that will inevitably die someday taking my journal with it.   Then, I can start over with no fear of plagiarizing myself.  Neat, huh?

Blondes, brunettes, or redheads?   Tina
Comment from onemoretina - 5/22/07 1:55 AM

    Meh...  So long as she's got a lot of money, I don't care if her hair's lime-green and she's got a tattoo of a spider eating her face.  That's the woman for me.  Yup.

     Actually, I really don't care about hair color.  I'm more interested in handgun skills.  If a woman's got terrible aim, there's a good chance that the relationship will work.  It's all about security (mine) after all.  And, I really don't think I could feel safe loving a woman who could drop me from a hundred yards out.  I'd constantly be looking over my shoulder. 

Do you eat corn on the cob from end to end or around?
Comment from teeisme57 - 5/24/07 9:19 AM

Well, truth be told, I go from left to right when I eat corn on the cob.  And, sometimes, I even go "ding" when I get to the end of a row and hit that proverbial carriage return to start over with a new row of nice, corny goodness.

    Right!  Now I need to go loaf in the sun.  After all, for the first time in what seems like twenty years, it's not cold or raining here on the Memorial Day weekend.  I don't know how to deal with that, but I think I should give an honest effort to enjoy the day.  I hope you all are having a nice, fun relaxing weekend.  And, if you're not, well...  do yourself a favor and just pretend you are.

Take care,


  1. Your not watching the Indy? 4 babes racing this year! HA! This one from Italy I think has 4 Master degrees though...geez!

  2. hahahahaha

    ur answers are too funny

    when that book gets published, make sure u drop me a line about it...

    great hot weather here in philly...our thunderstorms were last nite


  3. This was fun to read!! You are too funny Dan!

  4. Nice one Dan. I'm still laughing at the last but one answer.

  5. You are awesome in your awesomeness, Dan!  Thanks for answering!  And, by the way, what you are doing with your book, finishing one and having a second well started, that is what Jim Butcher did... and his career is on the soar now... Cool.  

    You would make an awesome columnist... why hasn't anyone gobbled you up yet?

    Love ya... enjoy the sun...

    be well,

  6. I was going to tell you something but it went right out of my head as soon as I read Dawn's comment. Remember that Frank Zappa song about his girlfriend always dresses as a goblin on Halloween? --Cin

  7. So Dan you write for a news paper? I would love to see your column! ;-)
    Oh and as for the self tenderizing cows, I read yesterday, they have bread cows that only give skim milk, high in omega fatty acids too. I think that's a start don't you?

  8. I'm shipping Phoebe to you.  She should arrive by Wednesday.  Please enjoy.  :)  tee hee.

  9.     Thanks for the answer, Dan.  It put me in mind of that old J Geils Band song, ' First I Look At The Purse ' :
        So, I guess you are open to just about anything ... I mean, anybody ... I mean, any womanbody ...  as long as she's not a cop.  Tina