This morning, I woke up dead. And, like any good zombie, I had an unholy craving for brains. However, after wandering through the house for ten minutes with a toothbrush in my hand and foamy, Mentadent spittle running down my chin, I soon realized that brains were in short supply in my house. Damn!
With my unfortunate lack of gray matter, I tried my best to satisfy my other undead desire --coffee. "Gaaa!" I said as I set down my toothbrush and dumped the first scoop of coffee grounds onto my foot and into my slipper, "I need brains!"
Eventually, with a lot of practice and a slipper full of French Roast, I managed to get my asthmatic little machine wheezing and it dribbled with all the speed of a glacier as I gaped like a labotomized fish at the gurgling little contraption. "Gaaa! Faster!"
Once I finally did get a cup of coffee, my need for brains ceased, and I spent much of the remainder of the morning trying to assemble pancakes.