Allow me to whine for a moment...
For the last couple of weeks, I've been dealing with what seems to be a rather large collection of gnomes who've moved into my head and have taken up chiselling upon the dense mass of my inner skull as though it was a granite quarry. They seem to be getting closer to daylight, however, as I can feel their progress upon the backs of my eyeballs.
So, needless to say, I'm kind of grumpy, and staring at the bright blue entry form for this journal is shredding my patience. Also, my mood is so grim that I am watching a rerun of Judging Amy, while deconstructing the dialogue, and I find myself thinking that it would be pretty damn entertaining if someone dumped a a bucket of water over Tyne Daly's head --better yet! Put her in a dunk tank full of vodka.
Don't get me wrong, I like Tyne Daly. I think the old bird's got moxy, and she seems to be a genuinely nice lady. It's just, right now, the smarmy, staccato of her character's condescending and pretentious banter is enough to make me contemplate sticking a plastic fork in my aching head.
I know. I should change the channel, but all that's on are my ridiculous local news anchors who chatter like senseless little squirrels, cheesy home makeover shows and Paula Dean's cooking show, and any one of those is more than enough to send me into an insanity from which I know I'd never be able to return.
Okay... My whining is over.
-Dan
Somehow, I thought I saw somewhere that chilling your gumbs with ice helps migraines, but I could be OH SO wrong....you might wind up with an ice cream headache. Have some ice cream anyways.
ReplyDeleteOh, I totally get the Tyne Daley thing even with no headache. If you want some quick-witted speed rambling try The Gilmore Girls.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need to pop a couple advil, sip on that vodka rather than dunk Tyne Daly in it and get an eviction notice for those gnomes in your head. Are they paying you rent? Probably not, so get 'em outta there. :-D
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, sorry to hear you are feeling down and that nothing is on TV, but ya know what I have noticed in the last 24 hours . . . is that nothing looks wonderful on a brand new HDTV. Mwahahaha.
Smile dammit.
Amanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin
You could try what Uncle Fester used to do with the wooden vice...yes, crank it down until the lightbulb in your mouth lights up and you hear that satisfying POP. That should send the gnomes a-running.
ReplyDelete(Sorry you have a headache!)
Allergies, Dan? I know that my allergies can cause wicked headaches.
ReplyDeleteCharley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage
I dealt with migraines for years before finally asking a doc who drugged me up reeeeal good - but here is my sure-fire remedy: Three ibuprofins and a cold can of Coke. Take the pills, drink a sip of Coke, hold it to your head. Repeat until all Coke is gone and until you feel human again!
ReplyDeleteAnd if that doesn't work - I'm gonna go with the "put your head in a vice" guy!
:)
Hah! That was supposed to be "vise"...but I suppose their are a few vices which would work doubly well.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteMIDRASH AND WORKING OUT OF THE BOOK (A Review)
Alan Fried
Author House, Bloomington Indiana
• Publisher and year of publication 2004
• Author G David Schwartz
• ISBN 1-4184-8956-5 (sc)
• Page count 675
This book could hold a place in the Religion and Theology section of a book store and the essays section. It has a very round area of expertise written in a very friendly, understandable manner. Schwartz does well with explanations and acute teaching, a result of knowing his subject well.
The subject of Midrash spans from interpretation of the scripture to wise comets on living in modern life. Starting as an explanation into an expansion of the Old Testament, Midrash is bought to be more or less new scripture.
Most interesting to me is the way Schwartz plays with scripture that is with the ultimate truth. Play does not become sacrilegious but needed. Schwartz does never insult the bible but expands that the bible says.
I found the book very interesting, an intelligent text which is really easily understood. I think any religious person as well as some not so committed to faith issues will learn from and enjoy Midrash and Working Out Of The Book Schwartz shows a command of religiosity as well as that which is interesting to the person in the street.
What I enjoyed most in the book was the sly humor placed in the fictional tomes as well at the essays. Such a deep subject presented with genuine humor make this book interesting as well as readable and good to read and learn from.
www.amazon.com/gp/product/1418489565/102-6333608-5847339?v=glance&n=283155
You wrote all that with a migraine? You're good!
ReplyDeleteLori