According the calendar of Bizarre American Holidays, today is "Ask a Stupid Question Day."
So, in the comments, please ask a stupid question. You never know; I may even try to answer them somewhere down the line. Just remember that when you ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer.
Now, I know this universal truism flies in the face of the belief that there is no such thing as a stupid question; however, we all know that is simply a tactic used by various educators, clueless bosses, and Supreme Court Justices so as to weed out and identify the stupid people among us in order to more easily exploit their stupidity in the future. After all, do you know how hard it is to get someone who's smart to do something utterly stupid without the assisstance of a LOT of alcohol? It's easier to find a fart in a bag of nails, I think.
Anyway, leave a stupid question in the comments. And, if you need help with that, leave a comment and I'll send you the instructions, okay?
-DP
**UPDATE** To answer Nancy's stupid question:
Hey...aren't ya gonna show the questions (and some answers) in another entry??
Well dang it, I'm usually full of stupid questions, but now that someone actually cares enough to ask for them, I just can't for the life of me remember what they were... Give me a moment....
ReplyDeleteStupid question? Damn, I can't pull shit out of my ass on the spot, I get stage fright . . .
ReplyDeleteWell Dan, how do I stop from tripping and falling over my shoe laces when I leave them untied?
Thanks,
Amanda
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin
Why do my dogs eat deer poop?
ReplyDeleteFred
Why can't people tickle themselves?
ReplyDeleteIt's sure if fun trying, though!
Nancy
Hey Dan
ReplyDeleteWhy do people ask stupid questions???
Chris
This entry was made for US Customs, I get to spend all day answering stupid questions - "what is a book made of" or even better they regularly ask for a better description of something, the other day they asked for better description of "used guitar"...why people send anything to the USA is beyond me.....so my stupid question is - why is US Customs staffed by people who couldn't find their arse with a map?
ReplyDeleteHow come so many intelligent people believe that gravity creates 12 personality clones for each month?
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think that is ripping away at the potential variety amongst billions of people over the centuries..what a way to dog your believes and hear I thought I was unique. I had no idea that an invisible force could form me in the womb. Cool...RLOL - Raven
why?
ReplyDelete-kaykay
OOps typo...." "
ReplyDelete..what a way to dog your "beliefs" and hear I thought I was unique.
Does this dress make my butt look big?
ReplyDeleteWhat Would Scooby Do?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Baby, would you eat this here snack cracker in your special outfit for me, please?
Who let the dogs out?
Do you have the Texas Chainsaw Mascara?
Damn, there really ARE a lot of stupid questions!
Ok, so what's the speed of dark???
ReplyDeleteWhat happens if you get scared half to death TWICE?
ReplyDelete~Emily
How does one go about getting a fart *into* a bag of nails?
ReplyDeleteAlso, what does a sack full of Jello hammers look like anyway?
-Paul
http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/
If i fax something to you will i get my original back?
ReplyDelete~Terry Ü
If 42 is the meaning of life, what's the meaning of 42? :)
ReplyDeleteHi........
ReplyDeleteWhat is a stupid question ?
and how do you spell DP ?
And does 'DP' stand for what we think it stands for?
ReplyDelete-Paul
http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/
If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like?
ReplyDelete:P
Jackie
http://journals.aol.com/siennastarr/Hopefloats/
Why would a woodchuck even be called a woodchuck if it can't chuck wood?
ReplyDelete~Elq~
What is a dogs nose made of?
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you go f___ yourself?
ReplyDeleteFred
Hmmmm....
ReplyDeleteHow can gravity be a law if we don't know what it is???
be well<
Dawn
ps... I truly hope you are feeling better, Dan.
Here's a few I came across.....LOL!!
ReplyDeleteDo infants enjoy infantcy as much as adults enjoy adultry?
Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
How can there be "self-help" groups?
Who opened the first oyster and said "My, my, my! Now doesn't this look yummy!!"
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?
Can a fat person go skinny-dipping?
-BM
http://journals.aol.com/csosalla/thebackyard
Of course, I'm a day late (and a dollar short). May I still ask?
ReplyDeleteWould a fly without wings be called a walk?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
A stitch in time saves nine what?
That's all for now. Feeling better?
Barb
Hey...aren't ya gonna show the questions (and some answers) in another entry?? This could be fun!!
ReplyDeletenancy
I am laughing so hard at these... I can't think of one of my own.. I will be waiting for the answers!!
ReplyDeleteJill
How's your belly off for spots? B.
ReplyDelete