Dear Mother Nature,
Hello! My name is Dan, and I am a huge fan of your work. In fact, what you did this spring was absolutely wonderful. And sure, I'm certain you'll probably hear people complain that this summer may have been somewhat warm. But, all-in-all, I think it was a good one.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing you, Miss Nature, is to voice my utter displeasure at the fact that when I opened my weather radar this morning, I could see a painful looking patch of white and purple snow in the area around Montana. Can you, Miss Nature, imagine my shock to see this disgusting smudge of winter weather when the calendar still says that it's summer? What happened to fall? What have I done to you that lead you to torture me in such a way as this? I recycle! I swerve (usually) to avoid your critters as they scamper into the road, and it's been ages since I took a magnifying glass to any ants.
Personally, I would like to continue being a fan while enjoying the results of all your hard work; however, should this malicious taunting continue on your part, I will have no choice but to purchase one-hundred acres of Brazilian rain forest to slash and burn. Then, upon which, I will build an unregulated, high-emission, coal-fired power plant to supply electricity to a lone, freon-leaking refrigerator filled with non-biodegradable styrofoam containers of Chinese food and six-packs of beer bound by plastic rings whose sole purpose is to strangle ducks.
Is it too much to ask that we have a nice transition into winter via the pleasant season that is autumn? Please do not be in such a hurry, Miss Nature.
Sincerely,
DP
Obviously, Mother Nature and Father Time must have had some kind of argument...and she won.
ReplyDelete-Hootchie
When I woke up on Saturday morning, the mountain tops had lots of new snow...so of course we went up there and played in it today. Whoo hoo!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a winter person too much...but who cares: the Patriots beat the Jets today. Again: Whoo Hoo.
(And that's MS. Nature, by the way.)
That's the way of a woman.....getz ya when you're not looking!
ReplyDeleteI am here by way of ??? I don't exactly know what route got me to your journal, but have been quite entertained by it. And I agree with you... How dare Mother Nature abuse and misuse a nature loving person as yourself!! Let me know if the direct/upfront approach works with her!
ReplyDeleteI will be back to visit..............................Jill
http://journals.aol.com/jillyjae/moving-right-along/
awww mother nature. Remember that commercial. LOL.
ReplyDeleteAhhh... apparently last night before you went to bed you didn't see the pics of all the snowboarding kiddos in Montana and elsewhere. Yup. She did. Right up in your face and all. I think that some areas may get a nice fall that leads into spring...but I am not too sure about your area! lol
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Dan
be well,
Dawn
dear Dan
ReplyDelete(clears my throat) uh.. I think we should refer your problem to..what's his name you know that storm and snow person..ah yes Pharmolo!
natalie
I found your journal in "By the way..." and I think you have a very very interesting sense of humor. I too am from WI and although I know you love it here, I am waiting for "The Word" and I am outta here. I like warm weather. No offense. You are definately on my alerts. Looking forward to it.
ReplyDeletehttp://journals.aol.com/mrsm711/LatteDah/
Tracy
LOL! Hey, we in Southern Cali neverget to experience FALL! Ever! We barely even see Winter. We just go directly from summer to spring and back to summer again. Our winter weather is like your spring, and our spring is like your summer, and our summer........well........it's like taking a one way trip to Hell. Period.
ReplyDelete:)
Jackie
Screw summer. I just got a $350.oo electric bill and I keep the thermostat set on 76-78! Come on cold weather.
ReplyDeleteBarb
Miss Nature is in control bia'tch!
ReplyDeleteListen to this, yesterday she made it sunny and rainy at the same damn time! Freaky.
Amanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin
You are too funny! We are suppose to get snow Thurs in the midwest!
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