Friday, October 20, 2006

In Quest of the Cheddar Melt...

    Well, thanks to the compilers of useless information over at, I managed to find just about everything you'd ever want to know about McDonald's, but were probably in too much of a Drive-Thru hurry to ask. 

    Seriously, I actually found this stuff kind of interesting in a very weird, yet funny, sort of way. 

    For example, the very existence of a mutton-based (now chicken) Maharaja Mac, answers the long-standing question as to just what the hell they serve to people in a India where the consumption of beef is considered a form of sacrilege. 

    On top of that, folks out East are lucky enough to have something called a McLobster (or, McHomard if you happen to be in France).  Essentially, it's just a garden-variety lobster roll, and much like the McBrats here in Wisconsin, I'm willing to bet that you can find better for much cheaper. 

    On the other hand, Canadians can get poutines at McDonald's.  There's just something so perfectly wonderful about being able to grab a bucket of heart-straining, gravy-covered fries and cheese.  And, yes.  Like the McBrats and the McLobster, I'm sure you could find much better poutines for much cheaper; however, considering this is Canada, why would you want to get out of your nice, warm, toasty car and brave the elements?  Trust me, picking up some drive-thru McPoutines is simply one step closer to grabbing your seat on that heart-attack train to Heaven in my book. 

     However, my personal favorite is the Russian McDonald's menu item of "County-Style Potatoes."  What McDonald's doesn't quite understand is that potatoes in the Russian countryside are used more for making the primary ingedient in a martini than any sort of burger side-dish.  I mean, you'd think with McDonald's being Irish and all, the last thing they'd screw up is a potato dish. 

     Unfortunately, the thing I miss most from McDonald's is the freakishly delicious, greasy, crack-based, salt-bomb that is the Cheddar Melt.  They have them in Brazil, though, and I may just have to start planning a trip to Carnival.  After all, what would sex-up Brazil more than a flabby, pasty, Speedo-clad American eating Cheddar Melts on the beaches of Rio and Sao Paulo? 



  1. My, we have been busy writing today haven't we? The one thing I learned in a business class about McDonalds that I've always found interesting was this.........they are not in the market to sell Hamburgers. Although that is a sub-principle, it's not the most important. The most important part about McDonalds is Real Estate. They own the dirt they make nasty hamburgers at. That makes them powerhouses, not McGriddles.............I know,, more useless information~


  2. The McLobster's aren't horrible, actually, for a drive-thru meal, they can be good:)  Along with whatever they call their crabcake sandwiches in Maryland and Virginia.    Mostly, we ignore MickeyDee's (who I think may be Scottish, not Irish, even if still in the land of potatos.)  -- Robin

  3. " After all, what would sex-up Brazil more than a flabby, pasty, Speedo-clad American eating Cheddar Melts on the beaches of Rio and Sao Paulo? "'re getting me hot.

  4. Yep, I'm gonna spend $5000.oo on a trip to Paris and eat me a McLobster.  LOL I can't even McVision a McDonald's in Paris. But a Parisian gots to eat too, I guess.