Free Candy!

    I've been kind of under the weather the last few days with a smidgen of a fever and the garden-variety nasty-cold nonsense.  It may actually be a slight touch of the Ebola virus, but since Virology isn't my specialty, I'm calling it a cold (what do you think this is: the CDC or something?). 

    Anyway, I've been grumpy.  Very grumpy.  And, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm also completely, hopelessly lazy, I'd probably walk over to the Catholic Church on the next block and sucker punch a priest as a way of sending a little hate mail to God for the disease he's decided to plug into my system. 

    However, a miracle happened.  Yes.  As death's icy-cold, boney fingers were gripping my shoulder, and darkness began to swallow the world around me, I saw the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, and it was good, and it was beautiful, and, had I not already been sitting down surfing the intertubes, I'd have fallen to my knees and thanked the skies above. 

    You see, my friends, I found this:  Visual Recipes - Bacon Caramel Recipe, and my world began to brighten.  I mean, Caramel + Bacon?!?  This is proof that mankind is capable of miraculous works.  There is good in the world, and as I read the recipe, I began to grow giddy with glee at the fact that not only was this delightful dish reasonably easy to make, I now had something to hand out to the wandering throngs of costumed urchins who will soon be scratching on my door looking for a handout when Trick or Treat time rolls around in the coming weeks. 

    There are only two reasons why I will make this for the little children:  First, it's got caramel.  Caramel is sugar, and kids go bonkers over sugar.  And, the next reason is that it's got bacon, and dogs (i.e. Rottweilers and Pit Bulls) go bonkers over bacon. 

    The plan is pretty simple, really.  I give the kids the bacon-laden sugar bombs, the dogs go crazy, and when the carnage has passed, I grab an empty tub and walk around the neighborhood cleaning up all the candy that has fallenout of the shredded bags. 

     It's free candy for me!  And it'll probably be the scariest Halloween those kids will ever see.  In other words, it's a win-win. 

-DP