Sunday, October 15, 2006

Free Candy!

    I've been kind of under the weather the last few days with a smidgen of a fever and the garden-variety nasty-cold nonsense.  It may actually be a slight touch of the Ebola virus, but since Virology isn't my specialty, I'm calling it a cold (what do you think this is: the CDC or something?). 

    Anyway, I've been grumpy.  Very grumpy.  And, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm also completely, hopelessly lazy, I'd probably walk over to the Catholic Church on the next block and sucker punch a priest as a way of sending a little hate mail to God for the disease he's decided to plug into my system. 

    However, a miracle happened.  Yes.  As death's icy-cold, boney fingers were gripping my shoulder, and darkness began to swallow the world around me, I saw the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, and it was good, and it was beautiful, and, had I not already been sitting down surfing the intertubes, I'd have fallen to my knees and thanked the skies above. 

    You see, my friends, I found this:  Visual Recipes - Bacon Caramel Recipe, and my world began to brighten.  I mean, Caramel + Bacon?!?  This is proof that mankind is capable of miraculous works.  There is good in the world, and as I read the recipe, I began to grow giddy with glee at the fact that not only was this delightful dish reasonably easy to make, I now had something to hand out to the wandering throngs of costumed urchins who will soon be scratching on my door looking for a handout when Trick or Treat time rolls around in the coming weeks. 

    There are only two reasons why I will make this for the little children:  First, it's got caramel.  Caramel is sugar, and kids go bonkers over sugar.  And, the next reason is that it's got bacon, and dogs (i.e. Rottweilers and Pit Bulls) go bonkers over bacon. 

    The plan is pretty simple, really.  I give the kids the bacon-laden sugar bombs, the dogs go crazy, and when the carnage has passed, I grab an empty tub and walk around the neighborhood cleaning up all the candy that has fallenout of the shredded bags. 

     It's free candy for me!  And it'll probably be the scariest Halloween those kids will ever see.  In other words, it's a win-win




  1. Sure hope you feel better soon...


  2. And your fever is how high????

  3. Sounds like a diabolical plan.  And I think you just might be able to pull it off.

  4. Diabolical...  Yes...  yes...  I feel like The Riddler.  


  5. I think your fever has gone way too high and you need to be checked out, Dan!  I mean, all you have to do is go shopping on 11/1 and get the 75% off candy, like 3 or 4 bags for a buck... much less cooking and energy involved... and less carnage...but apparently, that is a plus for you!  LOL

    I hope you feel better soon...

    be well,

  6. Ok, I like Carmel, I like bacon, I like almonds...???? This just doesn't sound good to me. You try it first! :-)

    Oh boy do I know what you mean about the cold. I've had it now for 9 days! Check out my postings on it!

  7. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!  You just can't wait till Christmas so you have to start earlier?  It does sound like a good plan.  It would be simpler to just BUY the candy, but that would spoil your fun, huh?  Take care of your cold.  I let mine turn into pneumonia before I realized it.  It took me forever to feel better.  It's better than EBOLA though. lol

  8. I don't know about that recipe, Dan. Now, if we substitute maple syrup for every sugar ingredient in there we might be on to something. Bacon and Maple Syrup were made to go together. Why else would Canadian maple syrup farmers use pigs to pull their maple syrup wagons?

    Can't answer that, can you?

    Don't even try.

  9. LOL!! Now that's just too funny! Leave it to you to think of some fantastic scheme to get and give all at the same time (tee hee hee!)

    Of course laughing at this just makes me feel like the evil, wickid step-mother in snow white...leaning over the steaming culdron, preparing something deliciously sinister, packed full of disaster! Although I'm not sure if it's a good idea for you to be leaning over a hot, steaming stove, preparing such delights for hundreds of kids while in the midst of your misery....that's better left to us BeastMoms, LOL!!

    Hope you feel better soon!!


  10. Mmmmm....bacon, almonds, caramel and even bourbon. The 4 food groups (fat, protein, sugar, alcohol) are covered in one Pyrex dish. I'm going to whip up a batch and send it over with a stripper to make you feel better. A stripper wrapped in bacon, of course.

  11. Wow! That is the ultimate plan . . . are you going to share? Because if you aren't there is no sense in me letting you do this on your own and I am just going to have to steal your idea.


    Hope you are feeling better.


    Amanda :)

  12.     Sorry about your sniffles.  I got 'em, too.  Oh, well ....    
        The Bacon Caramel sounds like a real taste treat.  And I'm sure the kiddies will love it.   Sounds as though you may be as fond of Halloween as my dear mother was.  Each year she swore to us that when our friends showed up and said, "Trick or Treat" , she would smile and answer "Trick", and put a scoop of ice cream into their bags.          
        You can just imagine the costumes she came up with.    Tina

  13. Wow dude, that just, ...that just doesn't look right....nope..