[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] 11/07/2007 09:10:00 PM

So, I just finished watching the new Bionic Woman, and I really am trying to like this show. After all, it's got a neat premise, there's room for tons of nice, fluffy action, and Michelle Ryan is mind-bendingly beautiful. It's as if she came straight out of a place called Sexytown where she lived in a little house with a bubbly hot tub beside a gurgling little creek of constantly flowing cosmopolitans. But, no. She's from Enfield, UK. So, instead of that whole river of booze, I'm thinking the soles of her shoes are just sort of sticky with beer.

However, the show itself is flat, lifeless and woefully predictable. Michelle Ryan's a great actress, mind you (Of course she is. Duh? She's from Sexytown), but the writing on this show just comes across as so horribly forced that the words always seem to miss their intended mark. When the characters attempt to engage in some sort of snarky banter, it sounds more like two stodgy, tweed-coated college professors bickering back and forth in some sort of stilted dialect than it does a couple of twenty-something secret agents out to save the world from whatever weekly menace they may face.

The thing is, for my own selfish reasons (like Michelle Ryan being from Sexytown, for instance), I'd like to see this show stick around. I think it could really turn into something fun. Plus, it's got freakin' Miguel Ferrer in it. He's not just the Number One "That Guy," but Mr. Ferrer is "That That Guy." He's had a hand in pretty much everything from Magnum PI to your holiday egg-nog recipe. He does it all. I mean, if you're making a movie and desperately need a shady-looking dude to show up to remind you that slime-coated aliens are going to eat your face if you don't nuke the earth, you find his number. Or, if you need someone to play an ice-cream man who's a recovering alcoholic and has somehow found himself supplementing hisincome by using his ice-cream truck to run guns to Bolivian Rebels fighting a government of corrupt, slime-coated, face-eating aliens, you simply can't cast anyone cooler than Miguel Ferrer.

I mean, really, the guy probably dresses up like a head of lettuce and does elementary school productions of "Our Favorite Fruits" just because no one else can off the sullen angst required for leafy produce.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

I was talking about Bionic Woman and its potential for staying on the air.

Who the hell cares?

I mean, look at Michelle Ryan, for Pete's sake!

Yowza!

-DP


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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 11/07/2007 09:10:00 PM