This picture arrived in my email from my chum Teefus a day or two ago. It was a little blurry and difficult for me to read, so I enhanced it and sharpened it, and eventually I got to the point where I could make out the words "sausage, chicken, blueberry and maple syrup."
Apparently, some health-conscious, food-hippie at Al Fresco foods thought it might be a good idea to collide these things into a sausage, and seeing as how I'm from Wisconsin, the land of sausages, I think I am qualified to say that this is just freaking insane. Yes, cheese in a sausage is very good. Bacon in a sausage? Not too bad. A sausage wrapped in a pancake is borderline orgasmic. But, a ground up hunk of chicken, mixed with blueberries and maple syrup and packed into a casing is quite possibly the first step toward man's inevitable extinction. I mean, wars have been fought for a hell of a lot less than this, and I'm certain once the good people of Sheboygan, Wisconsin catch wind of this madness, people will be held accountable, laws will be passed, and those responsible will face the white-hot , greasy breath of justice.
Now, I did some research, and I poked around the Kayem Foods website. The interesting thing is, in order to gather information about their products, I need to create an account with them and log-in with a password. Oddly, this unnatural little meathouse doesn't say anything about how to go about creating an account.
Obviously, I am simply left to wonder just what it is that these sausage perverts at Kayem Foods have to hide? Perhaps they should just get it out of the way and change the name of the place to Soylent Green Incorporated.
Anyway, I did find one poor, young blogger out there who not only has eaten these abominations, but actually endorses them by saying that they are (and I quote) "Fabulous."
Please, readers. Fear for the children. FEAR FOR THE CHILDREN!!!
-DP
Your yong blogger claims that these sausages contain "no junk" but I read the ingredients and see that the "Blueberry Mix" contains sugar and then the sausages have both added sugar (again) and maple syrup (sugar from a tree). Let's see...they are blue in color and full of sugar...it's KoolAid sausage!--Cin
ReplyDeleteNot being a fan of blueberries in anything but muffins, I say this does border on sausage sacrilege. I do however like to dip my (Breakfast) sausage in that cute little cup of syrup you get in Denny's. LOL
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Friday. Barb
Yeah... it is soylent green for sure. No way I would put that in my mouth. It is just WRONG.
ReplyDeletebe well,
Dawn
We in England use the word Sausage Jockey to describe, well.......... you know? Not Sauasage pervert, that's taking it too far!
ReplyDeleteG;-0
Purple sausage? Isn't that like, a sin or something? Tina http://journals.aol.com/onemoretina/Ridealongwithme
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Sounds discusting to me.
ReplyDeletePam
Ah, yeah...... you take the sausage and chicken. I'll keep the blueberries OUT of sausage, oh and the maple syrup. If it's 100% maple syrup. Maybe that's their secret they won't divulge.
ReplyDeleteGood God, my husband went grocery shopping yesterday and we yet have another 'new' sausage in our freezer. Has anyone heard of keilbanosi or Keilbanosy? Nope, not keibasa. This stuff is about as big around as a hot dog, but three times as long. He also bought Bedder-Wurst which I'm assuming is a better cheddar wurst. We still have the chichken/apple sausage, too.
ReplyDeleteMy husband obviously needs to get a job. His quest for food in casing is costing us. I guess I could always open a sausage museum!
LMAO!!! Hahahahaha Oh my gosh, coming in after the fact reading what you said, then reading the comments section. I'm crying here folks. I get Maple syrup and sausage, I eat it that way all the time. But purple sausage? Kinda like diarrahea isn't it. I don't like eating food that looks like it already made an entrance through my body. Kinda reminds you of Green eggs and Ham, didn't get that St. Patty's Day event either, I'm not eating something that looks like baby poop. (Hugs) Indigo
ReplyDeleteEwwww. 'Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteAnnie =)
If this is what they have to offer, I wouldn't bother,
ReplyDeleteas it likely glows in the dark! But if you insist on
your pursuit within the Kayem web-lair:
http://www.costore.com/kayem/newuser.asp
Happy hunting!