Chef House?

   
    Now, I've mentioned before that I am a fan of Tony Bourdain.  His observations of cooking tend to resonate with eaters such as myself.  And, his pull-no-punches critiques and relentless --albeit justified-- hectoring of the Food Network sometimes leaves me gasping for air as a result of laughing until I weep.  Say whatever you will about the man; however, one thing is certain: he is damn serious about food and those who prepare it. 

    This can be seen on Michael Ruhlman's blog where Bourdain sometimes pops in to rattle the place like Dr. House sauntering up to the bedside of a dying patient and calling him a pain in the ass.  And, as it turns out, the patient is, in fact, a legitimate pain in the ass. 
   
    Anyway, in the latest Bourdain entry, he gives an outstanding, honest rundown of some of the celebrity chefs on the Food Network who we've come to know and love and how the network itself is teetering on the brink of becoming pointless and irrelevant, and, as it turns out, I find myself agreeing with everything he says. 

    For example, of Sandra Lee, he says:

Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard?

    Brilliant!  And, in response, I left the following comment:

Watching her show is not entirely unlike sticking one's head into a cotton-candy machine, followed by a quick dip in the Fryolator and having that deep-fried, pastel, sugary head-crust shattered by French kissing a speeding  cement-mixer during a gay-pride parade.

It's not only bad; it's noisy-pink bad.

    The rest of the piece, believe it or not, is surprisingly positive with what I think are some really spot-on appraisals of many celebrity chefs and some great insights into how to destroy a television network.  So, if you've got time to waste, do yourself a favor and drop by for a tremendous giggle. 

-DP

Tags: Michael Ruhlman, Anthony Bourdain, Sandra Lee, Food Network