Monday, February 19, 2007

Back You Cursed Glaciers! Back!

It's the writing that matters, man.
    I don't know whether or not you will believe this; however, the temperature here in my little lakeshore hamlet is a balmy forty-two degrees.  Yes!  Forty-Two --the ultimate answer according to Deep Thought.  It's the temperature at which Wisconsin becomes different from Fargo, Saskatchewan, or freaking Nome, Alaska.  Forty-Two degrees is the point where I can see a cow and think of steak as opposed to seeing one in the arctic wasteland and think immediately of a soft-serve ice-cream machine.  I want to go outside and enjoy this weather by standing in my back yard listening to the dying screams of the back-breaking mountain of snow I've had to shovel over the past several months.  I want to help it along by spraying gasoline on the snow, and tossing a lit match. 

    Die snow!  Die...  die... die!  Buwahahahaa!
    Seriously.  I hope it hurts the snow when it melts.  I hope it just sits there weeping as fellow flake after miserable flake dissolves slowly into the tundra below.  

    Snow is evil.  It deserves to die a horrible death.  I should be allowed to enjoy its death.  I should be able to hear it wail as the sun burns it into a puddle.   But nature truly hates me.  The snow remains silent as it disappears, and the only sound is an occasional drip or a random crack of ice as its frozen lattice gives way to the intruding warmth of spring. 
    Unfortunately, the balmy forty-two degrees is tempered by a gentle twenty-two mile per hour breeze.  And the clouds are an opaque shade over the sun.  So, in spite of the warmth, it's still a sub-arctic hell. 

    Oh well...  Later in the week it's supposed to rain.  That's springlike weather, right?  What's better than a gentle drizzle to wash away the eye-frying whiteness of all this snow?  Of course, there's a pretty good chance that by the time the rainy season does roll around later in the week, the weather people will be telling me that the rain will most likely be bitter little pellets of ice, and I should expect to have every strip of paint blasted off the garage and layer after layer of exposed skin flayed from my bones.

    So, how's the weather by you? 



  1. And when the snow hates you just as much as you hate it, then it takes its silent revenge by piling up on the top of your roof and causing a cave-in or by melting and then flooding your basement.

  2. LOL... oh how you make me laugh... It is 24 degrees here... pretty darn frosty!

    be well,

  3. How's the weather by me? Like that time I pulled a groin and coach slapped an ice pack against my nuts when I crawled out of the whirlpool. Never did understand that not-cold-hot-cold treatment.


  4. It's an awesome 48 degrees outside, and it's nearly 11:30 in the afternoon!!  It's actually kind of cold!  I love it!  Being as 2 days ago it was in the 80's! :/   I am hoping it stays like this for a few days, at least.


  5. really are getting SICK of snow!!  Come visit Dan, it's 60's and we had a nice rain last night.  Now the day is cool, but nice out.  Very slight breeze making my windchimes tinkle.  The ice cream man is driving by with that damn BELL. I could shoot it!  Can you believe kids actually are buying ice cream?? Man...<sigh>.

  6. Cold!!! Not luke warm, or warming up. Just plain old Cold! Last night alone it was 10 below not counting the wind chill factor. I'm with you , I would love to see the 3ft pile of snow that is inhabiting virtually everywhere you look , disappear. Perhaps by then I will have the fortune of my hands thawing out with the disappearance of winter. (Hugs) Indigo

  7. Well, it's 62 degrees here in Miami. That's why I live here. I am useless to begin with and in the cold I resemble a broom lying against the wall. I enjoy skiing in Vail and Heavenly Valley, but that's for ten days a year in dry cold, with most of the trip passed by holding up my end of the bar. Hope you're feeling well.