[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Send Napalm!

Let's see... I need to take a quick inventory here.

• Hot dogs and buns? Check!
• Bucket o' Chili? Check.
• 3 Boxes of Chai Latte? Check.
• Bottle of Amaretto? Check.
• Hot Cocoa? Check.
• Red Vines licorice? Check.
• Sour Jolly Ranchers? Check.
• Carton of smokes? Check.
• Bottle of codeine-flavored Tylenol 3's? Check.
• Beer? Check.
• Bacon? Check.
• Electric blanket? Check....

Bring on the god damned storm!

Apparently, we're supposed to be getting smacked silly by yet another horrendous winter storm that's supposed to dump anywhere from fifteen to nineteen inches of snow on Cheese Land, and what you see above is a sample of my Winter Storm Survival Kit. It's a little heavy on the chili-dogs, alcohol, and opiates, but considering how this winter has been, those things are more than justified. In fact, I'm probably going to burn more calories shoveling 40 tons of snow than I would running a freakin' marathon, and doing that with two arthritic shoulders is damn near torture.

Now, the really strange thing is that I'm supposed to be heading to the doctor's tomorrow to give some blood to the vampires/phlebotomists in the lab there. That's not the strange thing. The strange thing is that this will be my third trip to this particular doctor, and every time I've gone, there's been a damned snow storm. The first time, in December, it was a foot and a half of snow, and what should have been a 45 minute drive turned into an hour and a half.

A month later, when I was heading out there for a follow up, we had around six to eight inches, and though the drive wasn't terribly bad, it was still a huge pain.

Tomorrow, I imagine I will postpone my visit until next week sometime. It's not a big deal since I can pretty much roll in any time I want so long as I've been fasting for at least twelve hours. Still... I should really take this as a sign that I need a new doctor. But I like this doctor. However, I don't want to see the guy in August and have to drive through a town of very confused people trying to deal with a foot and a half of snow in summer. A line must be drawn somewhere...

Anyway, after I cancel my visit (which consists of nothing more than me waking up and saying "to hell with this nonsense"), and if I don't die from shoveling, I'll be here tomorrow writing about the awards I've won. They're not major awards, but they are very sweet and surprising and incredibly flattering, and the best part is that I get to pass this award along to other bloggers. So, to those of you who have been on my good side, check in to see if you are one of the Oceanic Six Distracted Seven.


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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 2/05/2008 04:17:00 PM