Milwaukee has been named the #1 Sexiest City.
Obviously, I can't disagree with these results since, well, let's face it. I'm a god damned sexy beast. I mean, not many men in other parts of the world can pull of my shaggy Rasputin-esque chin-mullet coupled with the unwashed, wrinkled laundry look while also being bathed in the paint-flaking funk of Hai Karate like I can.
I make Milwaukee sexy. And, if you don't think I'm sexy, trust me, in a little while, you'll be drunk enough to start calling me Brad Pitt. Beer's cheap here, people.
Now, obviously, as can be seen in the picture on the right, The Clone also shares my unabashed thrill to be a citizen of the #1 Sexiest City.
He's single ladies.
Just look at the little fellow. All those years of beating on his head with a shovel have done a lot to shape him into a well-adjusted, marginally-functional, mostly-retarded adult who's not the kind of guy to let a little chronic bed-wetting problem keep him from standing proudly on the mantle of all that is sexy right along with every other beer-swilling, cheese-eating Festival monkey.
Today, my fellow Milwaukeeans, we are sexy, sexy people, and I think we should drink ourselves silly so that we remain sexy.
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/15/2008 03:59:00 PM