[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It seems to be puzzled...

In fact, you could say it's scratching its head (thank you, Devi):

Let's see... Lot's o' stuff on my mind at the moment.

First, it's four in the morning, and I haven't slept a wink since sometime Wednesday night. It's a combination of aches, pains, and the raging angst of dealing with the ex-girlfriend who seems to be going through some sort of odd phase where she suggests spending more time together before disappearing for two weeks without a peep.

So, there's that... It's a whole bundle of crazy wrapped up in madness and set ablaze into a raging inferno of bat-shit, screeching insanity.

My guess is that she converted to Scientology.

Of course, the only proof I have of that is that sort of crazy is only attainable in Scientology, and it's probably easier for me to imagine she joined a cult as opposed to becoming so wildly unhinged. People don't usually act this way. I know this. I've seen how people act because, well... I am a people, and as a people who hasn't been shot, stabbed or excommunicated (I know. Go figure, huh?) I know how to act around others of my kind.

Next up, BUGS!

I like bugs. They're fun to shoot pictures of, and if you get close enough, they actually look kind of cool. In fact, when I'm looking through my lens while shooting bug macros, the thought that usually leaps into my mind is, "man! I am sooo glad you're not fifty feet tall."

The thing is, in their element, bugs are neat. Unfortunately, a lot of that neatness goes flying right out the window when a ridiculously tiny bug leaps from the branches and limbs above to land on me and start burrowing into the back of my neck.

Seriously, people! When would something like that not be considered a rude thing for nature to do? It's rude enough to make me want to donate to the local strip mine... If we had one. Then again, without the land raping strip mine, maybe I'll just go toss a car battery into the lake to get even with Nature for her tickish, Lyme-disease-laden ways.

Anyway, I had to carve that bastard out by myself all manly-manlike, and it went something like this:
Step one: Grab tweezers.
Step two: feel around for tick.
Step Three: squeeze tweezers to pull tick out.
Step four: Scream like a Girl Scout with skinned knees when you pull out a peach-fuzz length of hair that's so painful your cervical vertebrae get all twichy and wiggly.
Repeat Step Three.
Repeat Step Four.
Repeat Step Three....

Step Twenty Seven: admire the freshly excised tick and the amazingly smooth, fresh-plucked skin on the back of the neck.
Step Twenty Eight: Women do this to their freakin' eyebrows?!? No wonder why women are so crazy!
Step Twenty Nine: Bleed.
Step Thirty: Bleed some more.
Step Thirty-one: Find Band Aids.

Really... It's tedious. And, painful. I mean, I've taken ticks off other body parts (i.e. legs, arms, etc), but the back of the neck is just not any freakin' fun. So, Nature? I hope you choke!

Other than that, it's now five in the morning (I know... it took me a whole hour to write that little bit. But, in my defense, I did make coffee, feed the cats, and scanned the headlines of the morning newspaper).

There was a bunch of other things, but now that I think about it, I think those things are in the past, and no point in dwelling.

Still... Ticks on the back of the neck? Especially those big, drunk Wisconsin ticks?

Nasty bastards. Avoid them.

Now, it's time for The State of the Blog:

Neat how that blinks like that, don't you think?

Anyway, I've kind of been on a Lazy Summer Posting Schedule, and I've been phoning it in for the most part. And, before too long, perhaps a week or two depending on things (don't ask what things. Some things, you're just not meant to understand), I'll get back to my usual silly babble with DogCat posts, random gripes and bellowing, funny things here, serious things there, Amish porn, and, quite possibly, a retrospective on the work of Efrem Zimbalist Junior (who knows?).

Man... That blinking is getting annoying.

Nonetheless, the point is, I won't be phoning it in for much longer (unlike Prezdint G-Dub!). And, I can't tell you enough how great it was just to post pictures with tiny explanations and little thought. Really. It was nice to just spend a few seconds on posting a picture, then I could go and put my feet up or get out and snap some pictures, or walk down to the corner and throw hunks of rotten meat at the noisy, clanging bells of the Catholic Church down the street (I'm kidding! Don't send me any death threats).

Anyway, the thing is, I don't really seem to have a whole heck of a lot of ideas for things to do on this blog to keep you crazy, demanding people entertained. I mean, you're not like me. All you have to do to get me to hang out on your blogs or websites is to just post a picture of some jingling car keys or some other small, shiny objects. So, if you've got any suggestions, I'm all ears (or eyes and fingers or whatever). Send them on to me, and I'll see what I can make of it.

So, that's about it for this Friday morning. I'm going to go wake up go to bed start my day...

-DP

P.S. Unfortunately, I don't think the blinking text HTML works on the AOL Journal. So, for those of you reading this on AOL, well... if you want to see blinking text... I mean, if that sort of thing turns you on, then hop on over to my Blogger blog, and be hypnotized by the mystical blinking words... It will make you sleeeepy... sleeepy... Any when you awake, you will think you're a CHICKEN!

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/01/2008 05:30:00 AM