[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] What the...?

Now, rumor has it that today is September.

I must've missed a memo. It's simply not possible. Yesterday, it was summer. I had plans. I wanted to do more summer things. There were beaches to stroll on. Maybe a baseball game or two to check out. Festivals! My god! There are big, loud, rowdy festivals for me to hit!

Somehow, I went to bed in summer, and I awoke today somewhere in a strange land where it isn't summer. It's like Canada or something. They're talking about football on the news. They're saying that after Monday, people will be rounded up and shipped off to Gitmo should they find themselves in the unfortunate position of wearing white.

The world has gone mad, and it should be June. Why isn't it June? Can we say it's June?

Now, if you're anything like me (which I hope you're not because I'm pretty damn stupid), you have a tendency of confusing Labor Day and Memorial Day. Trust me. I've already gone out a couple of times this week and asked people what their plans were for the upcoming Memorial Day weekend.

Some people simply look at me and say, "I'm watching the Indy 500! Booyaah!"

Most people, however, respond with an odd sort of sadness. They look at me as though I was a drooling toddler who's just filled his diaper. In fact, it's almost as if they want to reach out, pat me on my big, bald head and say "there, there, dumb child. You have no idea how time works, do you? The little hand's on September and the big hand is ticking quickly toward STFU and put on your mittens!"

Perhaps the only genuine perk is that it is football season. And, today my UW Badgers are playing some group of bumbling hacks from someplace that calls itself a university. I think it's Washington State. I don't even think it's an accredited school. It looks as though it's a school where people go to major in things like ballroom dancing and how to bake cookies and pie. And, since they are playing in Wisconsin, I expect a rather dull performance from the Washington State team since they're probably all going to be jonesin' quite heavily for a cup of coffee.

Unfortunately, it's a shock to the system going from wanting to walk on the beach with a mai tai to grabbing a beer and sitting in front of the TV for a few hours to watch the game.

Anyway, I do hope you all manage to have a nice Memorial Labor Day weekend. Put away those white clothes, and find those mittens. I'm off to try and figure out what time it is.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/01/2007 10:33:00 AM