Friday, August 31, 2007

Another One in the Books...

It's now the last day in August, and that can mean only one thing (well, actually, it means a bunch of things, but for the sake of dramatic effect, let's just leave it at one, okay?):

It's time again for the annual End of the Month Slush Dump. (fixed-ish)

Yes. It's that time where I unload the massive collection of bookmarked links of things I meant to get around to writing about, yet never quite did. It's like that jug of Clamato you have in the back of your fridge that terrifies you, but you just had to buy it because someone told you that it's great in Bloody Marys. The same holds true for that jar of mint jelly, but really, when was the last time you had lamb? Ten, fifteen years ago?

So, do yourself a favor and dump that silliness before it kills you. Just remember to be strong. But, do wait until after you've perused the following collection of random and pointless links. You may thank me.

First up is a story about Wal-Mart de Mexico --that nation's largest private-sector employer-- and how they've managed to be turning in booming profits. Is Wal-Mart just ridiculously damn popular south of the border, or could it be the fact that they do not pay the teenage employees who work as baggers?

I'll let you decide.

Next, here's a little story about more stupidity at the hands of Comcast. Apparently, they put a cable on the ground through the yard of a woman who doesn't have cable, and when, after six months, she asked that they bury it, Comcast was unable to locate the line.

Me? I'd have gotten a nice set of scissors and taken care of the thing myself, but that's me. I'm a real do-it-yourself-er.

Now, the red states are still littered with imitation patriots, and some of them may believe that a simple magnet slapped upon the hide of their favorite pickup truck is not nearly symbolic enough of a display of their nationalism pride in "e'merka." So, Oklahoma brings you the "Global War on Terrorism" license plate. Now you folks in Oklahoma can be even MORE patriotic than anyone else because you've got license plates to prove just how patriotic you really are. Currently, I am unable to decide if it's patriotic, or just plain idiotic. I think I'll settle on the latter. And, when people in Oklahoma start driving around with copies of the U.S. Constitution on or in their cars, then I'll consider them patriots. Stickers, magnets, license plates are just never going to impress me.

Next, this is a great example of how a tragedy can really bring out the loonies:

Apparently, according to one raving nut, the I35 bridge collapse in Minnesota was an inside job by the United States' government in an attempt to silence the growing Muslim population in the Minneapolis metropolitan area. And, it's been confirmed by the Russians.

Personally, after reading this woman's raving madness, I'm more inclined to believe it actually was pigeon crap that brought down the bridge.

Now, here we have something interesting. It is a collection of the 52 Most Influential Photographs. It spans everything from the earliest surviving photograph (taken in 1827) to the disgusting goatse and Abu Ghraib photos. Some are fascinating and some are disturbing, so proceed at your own risk.

Here's a little story about a disruptive editor doing his best to make the most of his last days at work. Who said editors didn't have a sense of humor?

If you are living in Palestine, and you are a good swimmer, Hamas has got a job for you in their navy --No, they don't have a single boat. But they definitely need people who can swim.

The Muslim world has declared a fatwa against Harry Potter. See, Christians? You guys really aren't all that different from one another. I think it's time for a group hug. Share the love through your universal fear and hatred of a fictional boy wizard.

Next up, we've got tattoos. Lot's of odd tattoos. First, there are the science tattoos. And, not to be outdone by the broad swipe of science, the fans of human anatomy also have tattoos devoted to displaying their passion. Personally, I don't think I could ever get a tattoo. I'm just not that into that sort of commitment. However, I have seen some pretty slick ones, and the ones in these two photo sets are indeed super cool.

Now, if you're anything like me, you love the Waffle House. Don't ask me why, but whenever I head South (which, from Wisconsin is pretty much everywhere), I do make a point to hit at least one. So, imagine my giddy glee when I learned that the original Waffle House has been restored to its 1955 glory!

If that doesn't inspire you to run out and order up a plate of scattered, smothered, covered, cursed, resuscitated, and violated hash browns, I don't know how to help you.

Next, have you ever been out hunting or fishing only to have that animal in your sights bolt and run because of your Bible? Well, fear not, Christian hunters and huntresses, the Christian Outdoorsman has the answer for you. To quote:
"We carry the most popular camouflage Bibles on the market today. Ever been on a tree stand, or a mountain top or stream and wished you had you Bible along for meditation? Makes a perfect gift for the Christian Outdoorsman."
Yes. The... most... popular. But, what if I want a blaze orange Bible so as not to get shot when I am clutching the good word close to my heart?

And what have we here? Why, it's foodie-writer Michael Ruhlman and his rabid outrage at the ubiquity of the dreaded Chicken Caesar Salad. Seriously, it's everywhere, and it is indeed the "emblem of American mediocrity."

Ruhlman's answer to this nonsense was to create something so profane and heart-stoppingly perverse that it would inevitably destroy anyone's expectations of what exactly a Caesar Salad is. So, I give you, Michael Ruhlman's: THE Chicken Fried Pork Belly Caesar. And, though you may not find it on a menu at Applebee's or The Cheesecake Factory, apparently, chef Chris Cosentino has put it on the menu of his San Francisco restaurant Incanto.

So, obviously, if you are in or around the San Francisco area, make a point to stop by and try this odd little protest from the mind of a very disturbed individual. My guess is, it's probably amazingly delicious, and I know in my heart that my cardiologist is silently weeping as I read the recipe. I can almost hear the cries of his poor, shattered spirit now.

Okay, now this next one is a little odd, and it might be kind of difficult to explain. But, as you know, approximately 70% of earth is covered with water, and subsequently, 30% is land (duh). However, what would the earth look like if that situation was reversed? Here's a map.

Did you ever wonder why the Palestinians are so pissed off? Well, it may have something to do with this.

Here's a little blurb on the small, strange, but, as a psoriasis sufferer myself, highly useful Doctor Fish. If it wasn't for the Remicade I'm currently getting loaded into my system, I'm thinking I'd have a pool filled with these hungry little guys.

Then again, there is a certain horror-movie aspect to it all, isn't there?

Comic books? Well... Here's one from 1960 that was put out by the good bigots people behind George Wallace's unfortunately successful gubernatorial campaign. There's an awful lot of love and smarts in that one, I tell ya.

Speaking of salt mines, here's a link to the Wieliczka Salt Mine in Poland where, when they weren't busting their humps, the workers took to carving some amazing and awesome things.

Hey! Would you buy a $100,000 watch? How about a $3,750 to $18,000 pen?


Well, I've got to wrap this up, so, finally, here's one of those eCard sites. However, unlike most eCards, the messages in these cards actually fit in those awkward spaces where you really can't find the perfect card to send. Funny!

Enjoy the linkage, folks.

Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/31/2007 08:56:00 AM

1 comment:

  1. So, MORE reasons to dislike WalMart, Comcast (or any cable company), and basic idiots?  I'll take mine in orange, please, if need be, and pass the waffles.  That's 100% maple syrup, right?  :)

    Here's to a better new year!