Wednesday, September 26, 2007

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Noooooooo.....

A while back, someone asked me if I would rather be blind or deaf. I chose deafness; however, in light of the following, I may have to change that:
The Fonz in bronze? Group hopes that's correctamundo, wants to put statue downtown

Posted: Sept. 25, 2007

Aaay, Milwaukee.

"The Fonz" soon might be part of our downtown landscape, immortalized in a life-size bronze sculpture that city tourism leaders hope would be a stopping point for visitors.

The Fonz, of course, is Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli, the character from the long-running TV show "Happy Days," set in a nostalgic version of Milwaukee, circa the late 1950s and early 1960s. Visit Milwaukee, a non-profit group that promotes the city as a tourism and convention destination, is leading an effort to raise $85,000 to commission the statue, which likely would be in the plaza south of E. Wisconsin Ave. and west of N. Water St., near the Chase Plaza office tower. (Full story)

What the...? A freakin' Fonzie statue?!?

We finally get a world-class art museum for the beer-swilling, plebeian drunkards of this blue-collar hell-hole, and they want to slap up a Fonzie statue. For the love of it all, don't they understand that no matter where Milwaukeeans go, the only things people know about this city are Happy Days, The Fonz and Jeffery Dahmer?

Putting up this atrocity will only encourage tourists to hound and pester the citizens with questions about submarine races, Pinky Tuscadero, Joanie and her love for Chachi Arcola, and whether or not Laverne and Shirley have turned into dottering old spinsters fawning over some goomba-tenor named Carmine while walking around town with Brooklyn accents. That's enough to get you shot in my town. I don't want to be confronted by a tourist from Tokyo looking for Arnold's so they can give Matsuo 'Arnold' Takahashi a pat on the back for teaching The Fonz the judo-chop while actively keeping the cultural stereotypes alive and well. And don't even get me started on that whole Mork from Ork fiasco. We'll have every freakin' tin-foil hat in the country pointed at us.

You want the glorious Fifties and Sixties in Milwaukee?

Bring back McCarthyism and see how well that plays out. Where was that on Happy Days?

Please, Milwaukee... Don't jump the shark! We're begging you.

Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/26/2007 11:04:00 AM


  1. Dan, Dan.  Do you not realize that most of us outside of Milwaukee had no recollection (if we ever knew) that The Fonz and Jeffrey Dahmer were from your city, until you just advertised that publically to all of us?

  2. Ayeeeeee!!! It's the Fonz ( Holding up both thumbs mimicing Fonzie).......K, I'm caught up with you, finally.....What you didn't notice I've been missing in action (Gasp)....Seems someone has been having a bit of fun in my absence. Glad one of us was (winks). Anyhow just stopping in to say "Hi" and of course couldn't help doing the Fonzie! (Hugs) Indigo

  3. I didn't mean actually doing Fonz in that way.....ugh! You get the picture...NO! Not that picture. (Hugs) Indy

  4. yep, you're right that's all I know about Milwaulkee...It's the city that means you know anything about Alabama....forget I asked....LOL