An Anniversary of Sorts.

 
    Egads! 

    I am in one hell of a grumpy, sort of mood today, and as far as I can tell, it most likely has to do with a sociopath ex-girlfriend who has an odd way of making the holidays considerably more annoying than they really have to be.  Part of me misses her like crazy, and part of me is damn happy she's gone. 

    She's the kind of woman who, in order to figure out, it would require the same level of mental gymnastics and blazing acumen required for solving Einstein's Unified Field theory. 

    However, if I could bend time and space, I'd go back to that night almost seven years ago where I stood at her door with a bottle of Auslese in one hand and a finger hovering over the doorbell.  And, had I known then what I know now, I'd have left a note saying: "Sorry, honey.   I have a pretty good notion that you are utterly bat-shit crazy.  I do hope you understand."   Then, I'd have turned around and headed home to drink my bottle of wine and enjoy writing novels in my bachelorhood rather than enter into a relationship which was about as stable as a drunken monkey with a machine gun.

    Unfortunately, seven years ago I rang that bell, fell in love, and since then my life has been a swirling emotional maelstrom at the hands of this free-range female lunatic. 

    Anyway, the first go-'round with this crazy lady lasted about six months before she left me for a thirty-year-old, overweight, underachieving law-student (ick) who, as it turns out, had more fun playing Dungeons & Dragons with his buddies than he did spending time with her (eeeesh!). 

    I mean, seriously.  That's just wrong.  As crazy as the woman is, she still has much more to offer than some swarthy tart of a 15th level cleric --even a swarthy tart of a cleric with a +5 to save against Ogres (if you're into that sort of thing).  Even though she was as nutty as a box of squirrel turds, she was brilliant and beautiful to the point of making my retinas sizzle every time I saw her smile. 

    Nonetheless, at that time, I figured I'd step as far out of her life as I could.  However, six months later, she was back complaining and unloading the unbearable minutiae of her miserable life with the guy she left me for. 

    Fair?  Not really. 

    But, I did my best to be a kind and compassionate friend because, deep down, she could be a very nice person, and even though she's utterly bonkers, she and I had a certain inexplicable chemistry that just kept pulling us together. 

    Needless to say, the story only goes downhill from there with her getting married to her dungeon master, divorcing said geek, and taking up with me again only to once again dump me for the same damn knucklehead she dumped me for six and a half years ago. 

    Yup.  It's a real "Mr. Forehead meet Mr. Wall," sort of thing, don't you think?
  
    Will she be back?  It's very hard to say no.  But, I'm thinking I may just nudge back time a bit to seven years ago, and not push that doorbell should the opportunity present itself. 

    Then again, I have to admit, it certainly wasn't a tedious or boring relationship.  I mean, if those things are like work, what I had seems to be not entirely unlike a nice, precarious position in the bomb disposal unit.  Still though, the occasional thought of that maniac running through my mind is still enough to gum up my emotional wheels and cogs. 
   
-DP