Now, a lot of people accuse me of being too laid back. What they don't see, however, is that I'm usually standing on the verge of embarking on a maniacal spree of global devestation.
For example, earlier today, our President was prattling on about the importance of education in mathematics, science and technology if our country is going to succeed in the 21st century.
Now, I do agree that those things are very important. However, it bothers me that this information is coming from a man who is lethally challenged by a freakin' bag of pretzels (When was the last time YOU got a black eye from eating a snack?) Why doesn't he just say, "Study hard, kids. Or you might just wind up being President someday!"
Next? The Emerald Nuts commercials: They are absolutely the worst things I've ever seen. I hate them, and I hate Billy Mays and his friggin' Oxy-Clean, Oxy-Boost, Orange-flavored Bam! household cleaner. I'm sure they're great products, but does he have to scream at me like some desperate crack-addict looking for money? He's simply one informercial away from having his head explode.
I also hate any commercial telling me to be friends with my adjectives. If I want to be friends with my fast or my slow, that's my own damn business. Besides, neither of those two friends will ever buy me a drink or chip in for gas on a road trip, so I'm pretty sure they'd be lousy friends. And just why the hell is a German car company picking my friends in the first place? They should stick with what they know and tell me to be friends with my beer, Jagermeister and bratwurst. That's a concept I can easily embrace.
So, as you can plainly see, I've got a lot to be angry about.