Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Olympics


Well, it seems I finally have started a blog.  I created this thing as a sort of outlet for my  thoughts, frustrations and whatnots.  Those of you who know me know that I pretty much have an opinion on just about everything, and many of those opinions can be pretty damn funny.  But I digress...

Anyway, I have a new passion in my life.  And, believe it or not, it's a sport (at least I think it's a sport.  It seems more like a drinking game, but they're handing out gold medals for it in Torino, so it certainly deserves world-wide recognition in my book.  And, since this IS my "book," let's recognize it). 

The sport is Curling.  I don't understand a damn bit of it, but it is the most docile, placid, relaxing thing I've ever watched.  It's like bowling without all the noise, and it has none of the coma-inducing qualities of televised golf.  More importantly:  women's curling has some of this planet's most attractive women I've ever seen in the world of sport.  They are all absolutely gorgeous, AND this odd little sport requires them to use BROOMS!  And, not to sound too misogynistic, but is there anything more appealing than a woman with swimsuit model looks playing a sport that requires World-Class broom handling skills? 

Now, if any women find themselves reading this, I should also say that the sport of men's curling ALSO requires brooms.  And, as many of you probably know, it's an even greater rarity to find a man who can properly operate that particular piece of household equipment at ANY level --Olympic or otherwise. 

Other than that, the sport itself seems to require more finesse than this clumsy oaf's motor skills are capable of.  Trust me.  If you put me on a sheet of ice with a heavy hunk of granite in my hands, it's only a matter of time before something gets broken or someone gets seriously hurt.

The thing is, curling actually IS kind of entertaining to watch.  There's something oddly relaxing about watching boudlers bouncing around off of one another.  It's kind of like a full-contact fishtank (but that's a subject for a later date). 

Now, I hate to be cliche, but I think I need to hand out an "Idiot of the Week" award. 

This week, the easy choice for idiot would be Dick Cheney, and his propensity for peppering his best friends with buckshot, but I am going to have to stick with today's theme and go with the drunken yutz I recently met who thinks that NASCAR should be an Olympic sport. 

Obviously, there's something special about NASCAR fans.  And, it's clear that some are more "special" than others.  But, let's draw a line here, okay?  I mean, we get it!  Some people like to watch a bunch of cars make high-speed left turns as much as I like to watch a bunch of smokin' hot, broom-wielding women throw around hunks of granite on a sheet of ice.  But let's keep the growling engines out of the Olympics and focus upon the athletes. 

Well, that's it.  I think I've babbled enough for now.  Leave a comment, question, suggestion or universal truth if you please. 



P.S.  I'm told that in order to get the hit counter spinning, I need to add the following words:  Porn, Amish butter-churning, Dirty Bomb, MENSA, and Cheese.


  1. If you REALLY want your counter to turn, add the words "beer" and "chocolate".  But beware, AOL's counters have a bad habit of turning backwards from time to time.

  2. I noticed that.  My counter went from 160 to 11.