Now, when I say I want to be a snob, I'm not talking about being a member of the Society of Nordic Barbershop Singers (then again, that could probably be fun too, but I'm not Nordic by any stretch, and I couldn't sing to save my life. Moonwalk? Maybe. Singing? No way).
Nope. When I say I want to be a snob, I mean I want to be the type of guy who looks down his nose at people as though they were a piece of bad cheese. I want to say things like "Sir? You are a boorish lout." And, "Take this vile pinot away. It insults me."
Yes. I want to be a first-class, solipsitic prick. Perhaps it's because I'm part French? Then again, I'm also part German, and whenever I look in the mirror, I have an odd habit of throwing my hands in the air and giving up. Maybe this morning the French part of me is winning. That would be something, eh?
I want to go up to people I meet, give them a cold, limp, clammy little handshake and say things like "charmed" or "pleased to meet you." I want to know how it feels to eat a friggin scone while daintily sipping my tea and pointing at the person opposite me with my pinky. And, when I laugh, I want it to be a half-hearted sort of "ha.. ha.. haa" thing. I want a monocle and a walking stick even though I don't need either.
Yeppers... I want to be a snobbish ass for no good reason.
Today's entry brought to you by Pet 'em Again Pets. Kittens too costly? Doggy debt getting to you? Visit the good folks at Pet 'em Again Pets and SAVE! SAVE! SAVE! on our huge selection of quality used and pre-owned animals.