I Hear Your Cries America!

    It's over. 

    I know it hurts, and I know a great many of you awoke this morning gripped with fear as one chilling question danced its icy way around inside your heads and hearts:

    Where do we go from here?

    Unfortunately, I have no answers for you.  And, sadly, all I see upon the horizon are dark clouds and a troubled time of vast, soul-crushing uncertainty.  Indeed, no one can plumb the depths of humanity deep enough to answer the burning question we need so as to find the direction that we, as a species, desperate crave.

    This will be a stark and difficult world in light of the demise of Britney and K-Fed.  Alas, nothing gold can stay, and though I am reasonably certain Britney will fair quite well, and this collapsed marriage will simply be yet another easily erased blemish, I find myself thinking of the poor, talentless, little scamp that is K-Fed.  Indeed, what will K-Fed do?  As far as I know, most heiresses are either out of his league, or off the proverbial market.  Paris Hilton, after all, spends her post-clubbing evenings scraping things like K-Fed off the bottom of her Manolos, and Lindsay Lohan wouldn't give him the time of day so long as he doesn't have a wedding ring on his finger. 

    K-Fed gave hope to the insolvent, indigent masses who, in the face of gainful employment rose up and shouted "I will marry me a sugar mama!" rather than fill out a W2.  And, when the razor-sharp claws of domesticity and fatherhood began to close tightly around his throat, K-Fed bravely found the first jet to Vegas to regroup with his homeys, a pile of chips and a whole lot of strippers. 

    Now, America, where do we go?  Will it be K-Fed the politician?  K-Fed the back-up dancer for Barry Manilow?  Will he wind up in the Hasselhof Army?  Or, will we see K-Fed the "Gimme your damn bus pass beyotch!"

    I wish I had the answer.  However, one thing's for certain:  If you think the McCartney demise is a nasty endeavor, well, Sorry England.  We are totally going to upstage you all once again. 

-DP