No Humpbacks!

    In his blog, By the way..., Hugo-nominated author John Scalzi brought up how scientists now believe that the songs of humpback whales are actually a language of some sort. 

 

    Now, I'm not going to bore you with no end of scientific jargon and mumbo-jumbo.  If you want that, go read Mr. Scalzi's blog.  You see, people!  I get my information from the inerrant word of God contained within the Bible, where bats are birds (Lev. 11:13-19), rabbits chew a cud (Lev. 11:6), and I'm pretty sure had He had the time, God would have gotten around to saying that whales are, in fact, fish.

 

    Needless to say, these fish are in American waters speaking a language all their own.  I say Get Out, humpbacks!  Either speak English --nay!  Speak American!-- or just keep swimming right on up to Canada.  We've got better things to do than learn your humpback language. 

 

    Now, what if one of these Godless "scientists" manages to figure out what these humpbacks are saying?  What do you think they're talking about? 

 

    I'm pretty sure these humpback's are spewing out the typical, whiney, hippy-Liberal talking points, such as: "Please stop hunting us to extinction!"  Or, "Please stop dumping your toxic waste and dead mobsters in our ocean." Or, "Can we have health care?  Waaa...waaa...waaa..." 

 

    I'm sorry, but I've heard enough Commie-Liberal nonsense from likes of Russ Feingold, and I don't need to hear anymore from these ungrateful fish.  You're in American waters.  I say you stop whining or leave.  These fish just hang out along the American shoreline, breeding like cud-chewing rabbits without working or paying taxes, and we're suddenly supposed to care what they have to say?   You didn't hear the spotted owl whine like this,did you?  No.  That bird took it like a true American.  In silence!