hi a/s/l

     We've all gotten them, haven't we?  The second we sit down and hop online, we are greeted with a barrage of instant messages with an incessant little "bling."

     Yesterday, I made the unfortunate mistake of turning off my "filter" which says that only those people I want to talk to are able to reach me.  Even worse, I unknowingly turned it off in the afternoon when school usually lets out.  Zounds!  The whole event was brutal. 

*bling*

IM Sender: hi a/s/l

Me:  98/ What's sex? / I think I'm in the home my children put me in so they could forget about me?  Are you my grandson?  Can I have some pudding? 

They seem to leave me alone after that sort of thing.  Unfortunately, another bored child comes out of the blue and the barrage continues:

*bling*

IM Sender:  who r u

Me:  I'm Batman! 

IM Sender: huh

Me:  Is there a problem citizen?  Do you need Batman?

IM Sender: huh

Me:  Curse you Riddler!  You poor, sick, deluded child.  Batman is too late.

     I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation.  It just always seems to go downhill from there.  And then another one pops up:

*bling*

IM Sender:  Hi there.  My name's Jessica and my friend and I just got a webcam.  Check us out!

Me:  Do you like Malt-o-Meal?

     Yeah...  I know those sorts of IM's are just a "one-shot" deal, and I never expect, or even want, a response.  Still...  The thought of "Jessica" out there somewhere contemplating a bowl of Malt-o-Meal makes me giggle.

     Other than that, I seem to get a ton of IM's looking for homework help for some bizarre reason. 

*bling*

IM Sender:  HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:  Cut the red wire!  No, WAIT.  Is there a yellow wire? 

IM Sender: wut???????????????

Me: Is there a yellow wire dammit!  Cut the yellow wire!   

IM Sender:  can u help me??????????

Me:  Is there a green wire?

IM Sender:  4get u bye

     I know.  I feel horrible for torturing these kids.  

See ya, 

DP