Friday, March 10, 2006

The Big Out-There...

    Well, it's the weekend, and that can mean only one thing: John Scalzi has something for me to do.  And, so long as it doesn't involve, elephants, mops or Amish furniture, well by golly, I'm gonna do it! 
    In Assignment #102, John wants to know if we believe there is life in that really big "out-there" that we call "space."  Moreover, never one to settle for a simple yes or no answer, John also wants to know that if we do believe life is out-there, what kind of life do we think it is?  Gadzooks, man!  If only I could just say no...
    Anyway, of course I think life exists out there somewhere.  Take a look at the countless number of galaxies scattered across infinity, and in those countless galaxies are a countless number of suns with any number of countless rocks going whoosh around them.  When you consider that, it's kind of hard to think that life is unique to this particular rock. 
    So, what kind of life is out there, you ask? 
    I think all kinds of life could exist out there.  Who knows, right?  I mean, there could be some pretty wiggy plants, animals, and maybe even people of some sort.  After all, when you toss infinity into any equation of probability, just about anything is possible.  For all I know, there's probably a planet out there where the trees go around peeing on dogs and suicidal boulders reduce themselves to gravel by crawling up the side of a mountain and throwing themselves off over and over again.  And, don't even get me started on the concept of a self-tenderizing herd of cattle.
    I know what you're thinking:  "Dan?  That's just not possible."  But, the wacky thing with infinity is, everything is possible.  And, even though the odds may be greatly against it, there could very well be a collection of toothless, gray-skinned alien hicks huddled around a still on some inter-galactic planetary equivalent of Appalachia.  They're probably smashed-drunk on hooch right now and blasting their zappo-guns wildly toward the stars and squealing with delight.
    On the other hand, if you ask me about "intelligent" life?  Well...  That's a whole 'nother kettle o' fish.  I mean, all one needs to really do is look around to see that intelligent life is something of a universal rarity.  For example, anyone who needs to be reminded that a plastic bag is most certainly not a toy, is definitely not qualified to be a spokesperson for intelligent life. 
    So, there you have it.  That's my perception of the universe.  It's a really big place, ya know?  And, the notion that we are the only ones drifting through infinity is kind of depressing. 
    Anyway, John also has the ubiquitous extra-credit bit to his writing assignment.  He wants to know our favorite Science Fiction alien.  And, though I may not have a single particular favorite, I'd like to take this time to give a shout-out to Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems, "The Future Begins Tomorrow," and all those rockin' Red Lectroid homeboys from Planet Ten:
John Barnett               John Bigboote         John Camp              John Careful Walker
John Chief Crier         John Cooper           John Coyote            John Edwards
John Fish                   John Fledgling          John Gomez            John Grim
John Guardian            John Icicle Boy        John Jones              John Joseph
John Lee                    John Littlejohn         John Many Jars       John Milton
John Mud Head         John Nephew          John Nolan              John O'Connor
John Omar                 John Parrot             John Rajeesh           John Ready to Fly
John Repeat Dance    John Roberts           John Scott               John Smallberries
John Starbird             John Take Cover     John Thorny Stick   John Two Horns
John Whorfin             John Wood             John Wright             John Ya Ya
"No matter where you go, there you are." --Buckaroo Bonzai


  1. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  You're so whacked.  But in a good way.  Mrs. L

  2. Dear Dan,
    er....(reading through your list of life)....uhhhhhh...(reading throuhg your list of favorite aliens yowsers! thanks Dan!:):)

  3. Better duck. I sense an alien with a 'probe' heading your way.

  4. Great entry and so true. Intelligent life can be hard to find on THIS planet sometimes.