I have a houseguest.
My twin brother is crashing here for a while, and though it's nice and everything, the one drawback is that my house suddenly feels populated by a couple of twelve-year olds. The practical jokes are something he and I seem to have never outgrown. For example, do you know how much fun can be had with a small motion-activated gizmo that plays phrases from the Star Wars movies?
The other night, I came home after a night out with some friends, and as I fumbled my way into bed, I heard rattling in the darkness, the voice of C3PO excitedly saying "R2D2! It is you! It is you!" Then, from the guestroom, I heard the giggling --the god-awful giggling that punctuates my chaotic and tortured childhood.
To get even, I set the gizmo up outside his door, and went to sleep. And, where I'm certain he slept a tortured and imperfect slumber fractured by the fear of my impending retribution, I slept peacefully until I was nudged awake by Obi Wan Kenobi outside by brother's door explaining that the Force will be with my brother --always. I giggled. I'm certain there are worse things to wake up to than Alec Guinness' voice first thing in the morning. I can't think of one off-hand, but I'm sure something exists.
Oh, wait. The worse thing would have to be DogCat.
Normally, I let him in in the morning, and though I'm not quite awake when I do so, I am, at least, out of bed. Since the Twin is here, DogCat's been getting access to the house while I'm still asleep as a result of The Twin letting him in on the way out of the house. Plus, it's been raining the last several days, and instead of a nice cup of coffee greeting me first thing in the morning, I've been dragged into the world of the conscious by a soaking wet, attention-whore of a cat who acts as though he's not seen me in several years.
So, that's been the last several days on this end. Eventually, sometime today, I will construct a means by which to exact my vengance. Yes. It's a little insane, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before one, or both, of us gets hurt.
Until that happens, I'm thinking of putting his deodorant in the freezer.
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/16/2007 09:40:00 AM